If we imagine the scene where Rakhi meets Amitabh in Kabhi Kabhi for the first time say after 15-20 years. I can explain the situation in detail, but just to avoid writing the cliched bit.
For the uninitiated, she saw him at the airport, at first she thought it must be someone else, but then there was no mistaking, it was him, talking away on the phone, in a rush to catch his flight. Then he saw her, waved to her and started walking over to her side.
She wanted to say, hi, it is so good to see you after so long
How has life treated you in the last two decades?
How is your wife, how are your kids?
You are looking just like you did 2 decades back when we were in college
No change at all, but I see that you have put on a bit of weight
And that beard of yours, since when did you start having one?
Where are you working these days? Must be holding directorships in various companies.
Did you manage to buy your dream house in Kashmir, how about the yearly holiday trips to Venice.
I am doing well too, I have 2 kids, and both are studying in the US.
I have been working with xxx and have become the MD of the company
Not even in my wildest dreams had I expected to meet you like this.
At times she had tried to visualise having a chance encounter with him, maybe at some cinema, some gathering and half expected him to just walk past her, not even recognising her.
She had never expected him to call on her in such a casual manner and talk to her.
It is so good to see you. I thought I would never meet you again. If only,
So many questions, but all she could say was how are you doing? Plain and simple words. If only silence could speak.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
To err is humane
They were the best of friends since childhood. Next door neighbours at home, completed their schooling and college from the same place. Where ever they would go, people would appreciate their friendship. Their friendship was something of a misfit in the materialistic world where in one lives currently.
They both completed their college and started actively looking for jobs. ABC Consultants was their dream company and they both were looking forward to their interview @ ABC. There were two vacancies and given their credentials they were confident of getting the placements for themselves.
Their interviews had all gone well and they were awaiting the good news. But to their dismay only one of them managed to secure a place, the other seat was given to someone else. She had received the placement, whereas her friend had not received the placement. She was the one less qualified and in comparison to her friend less suited for the job. But she was happy for herself.
Mildly dejected, her friend started preparing for other interviews. It was then that her friend realised that it was She who had deceived her, She who had played tricks, used her relationships to manipulate the recruiters at ABC to recruit her and not her friend. Her friend was very sad on coming to know about it, she was shattered and at a loss to understand how and what had happened. More than losing the job, she was sad about the fact that her friend had
deceived her. There were lot of questions in her mind, why had she done this, just for a job, she had put their whole friendship at stake? Why had she deceived her in such a manner, what did she get by deceiving her. But she realised that there was no point in asking these questions, what had been done had been done. There was no looking back.
On the other hand, She wasn’t enjoying being at ABC Consultants, she had always looked to working @ ABC with her friend in tow, before a month passed she resigned from her job. Guilt and remorse were eating her inside. She knew what she had done was wrong she had cheated her friend, something she shouldn’t have done. And now she wanted to ask for forgiveness. But she wasn’t sure if her friend would forgive her. She didn’t have the strength to face her friend after what she had done. But somehow she gathered courage and decided to pay a visit to her friend. She was sure her friend would scream and vent at her for being a cheat, she would be having innumerous questions, why, why, why. But she was ready to answer them all. She wanted forgiveness.
She was filled with nervousness, anxiety wondering what her friend will do. As against this, her friend met her with a warm welcome she was waiting for her with open arms. She had no questions to ask, no answers to be seeked, all she was looking for was her friend who had finally come back.
(PS: This realisation is a copy of a movie climax, but it made me realise, we always say that to err is humane, to forgive divine.
As divine it is to forgive, I think it is equally difficult to ask for forgiveness. And at times asking/giving forgiveness becomes a mere formality. Sometimes there
is no need for any questions, any answers)
They both completed their college and started actively looking for jobs. ABC Consultants was their dream company and they both were looking forward to their interview @ ABC. There were two vacancies and given their credentials they were confident of getting the placements for themselves.
Their interviews had all gone well and they were awaiting the good news. But to their dismay only one of them managed to secure a place, the other seat was given to someone else. She had received the placement, whereas her friend had not received the placement. She was the one less qualified and in comparison to her friend less suited for the job. But she was happy for herself.
Mildly dejected, her friend started preparing for other interviews. It was then that her friend realised that it was She who had deceived her, She who had played tricks, used her relationships to manipulate the recruiters at ABC to recruit her and not her friend. Her friend was very sad on coming to know about it, she was shattered and at a loss to understand how and what had happened. More than losing the job, she was sad about the fact that her friend had
deceived her. There were lot of questions in her mind, why had she done this, just for a job, she had put their whole friendship at stake? Why had she deceived her in such a manner, what did she get by deceiving her. But she realised that there was no point in asking these questions, what had been done had been done. There was no looking back.
On the other hand, She wasn’t enjoying being at ABC Consultants, she had always looked to working @ ABC with her friend in tow, before a month passed she resigned from her job. Guilt and remorse were eating her inside. She knew what she had done was wrong she had cheated her friend, something she shouldn’t have done. And now she wanted to ask for forgiveness. But she wasn’t sure if her friend would forgive her. She didn’t have the strength to face her friend after what she had done. But somehow she gathered courage and decided to pay a visit to her friend. She was sure her friend would scream and vent at her for being a cheat, she would be having innumerous questions, why, why, why. But she was ready to answer them all. She wanted forgiveness.
She was filled with nervousness, anxiety wondering what her friend will do. As against this, her friend met her with a warm welcome she was waiting for her with open arms. She had no questions to ask, no answers to be seeked, all she was looking for was her friend who had finally come back.
(PS: This realisation is a copy of a movie climax, but it made me realise, we always say that to err is humane, to forgive divine.
As divine it is to forgive, I think it is equally difficult to ask for forgiveness. And at times asking/giving forgiveness becomes a mere formality. Sometimes there
is no need for any questions, any answers)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Yeh Dooriyan
(ok, ok, the title is a copy from the song..but who cares :)
They were the IT people, part of the GEN X.
His job kept him on his toes generally, he was a high flying consultant in a Management Consulting company. During the last few years, he had been travelling extensively, his job took him across different time zones for extended period.
This time he was travelling for 3 months.
When he came back, they met at their usual meeting place.
They greeted each other, hi, hello and hugged each other. But she appeared solemn and very quite compared to the other days.
He ventured, how have you been, its been so long since we last met. Anything special happening in this part of the world ?
When was the last we spoke ? She asked ?
Ah, 3 months back I suppose, he replied guiltly. Can't help it right, my job is such that it takes me all over the world, spanning different time zones. More over, the places I had been to had such a bad network connectivity that I couldn't call you. And there was nothing exciting happening on my part of the world, to convey to you.
And look who is complaining, if I didn't call you, couldnt you call me? You are complaining as if you had missed me everyday and if you really did, what stopped YOU from calling me. Whenever I am not travelling, I do make it a point to talk to you daily, so if I wasn't able to call you so frequently during the last 3 months, shouldn't you understand.
Before coming there she had decided that she will not complain or argue with him. She has always believed that people should themselves realise if they have made a mistake. One cant always thrust your views on someone else. If he didnt think that anything was amiss, she wouldn't point it out to him. But when she met him, she couldnt stop herself and hence the complaint. But on hearing his justifications she decided not to argue further.
A few days passed by and that incident was forgotten in the hustle bustle of the fast life. He happened to visit her at her home few days later. She was taking a bath, so he was just killing time, loafing around in the home.
At that point he spotted some letters lying around, they were all addressed to him. He was wondering how come he had not received them? Who had written these letters to him, and how come they were there at her place ? On looking at them carefully, he realised that she had written him those letters, during the time he was not there. They were all routine letters, didnt have any special NEWS per se to convey, just a simple hi , hello, how are you. Hardly any of them had anything new in them, just the usual humdrum of living a life in a metro were being shared with someone. There was almost one letter written every week.
He should have realised that
You dont keep in touch when you have time
You make time to keep in touch
Nor do you keep in touch to convey the news, for that matter, how many of us have news to convey to our people on a regular basis, we mostly share the routine stuff with each other daily.
They were the IT people, part of the GEN X.
His job kept him on his toes generally, he was a high flying consultant in a Management Consulting company. During the last few years, he had been travelling extensively, his job took him across different time zones for extended period.
This time he was travelling for 3 months.
When he came back, they met at their usual meeting place.
They greeted each other, hi, hello and hugged each other. But she appeared solemn and very quite compared to the other days.
He ventured, how have you been, its been so long since we last met. Anything special happening in this part of the world ?
When was the last we spoke ? She asked ?
Ah, 3 months back I suppose, he replied guiltly. Can't help it right, my job is such that it takes me all over the world, spanning different time zones. More over, the places I had been to had such a bad network connectivity that I couldn't call you. And there was nothing exciting happening on my part of the world, to convey to you.
And look who is complaining, if I didn't call you, couldnt you call me? You are complaining as if you had missed me everyday and if you really did, what stopped YOU from calling me. Whenever I am not travelling, I do make it a point to talk to you daily, so if I wasn't able to call you so frequently during the last 3 months, shouldn't you understand.
Before coming there she had decided that she will not complain or argue with him. She has always believed that people should themselves realise if they have made a mistake. One cant always thrust your views on someone else. If he didnt think that anything was amiss, she wouldn't point it out to him. But when she met him, she couldnt stop herself and hence the complaint. But on hearing his justifications she decided not to argue further.
A few days passed by and that incident was forgotten in the hustle bustle of the fast life. He happened to visit her at her home few days later. She was taking a bath, so he was just killing time, loafing around in the home.
At that point he spotted some letters lying around, they were all addressed to him. He was wondering how come he had not received them? Who had written these letters to him, and how come they were there at her place ? On looking at them carefully, he realised that she had written him those letters, during the time he was not there. They were all routine letters, didnt have any special NEWS per se to convey, just a simple hi , hello, how are you. Hardly any of them had anything new in them, just the usual humdrum of living a life in a metro were being shared with someone. There was almost one letter written every week.
He should have realised that
You dont keep in touch when you have time
You make time to keep in touch
Nor do you keep in touch to convey the news, for that matter, how many of us have news to convey to our people on a regular basis, we mostly share the routine stuff with each other daily.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
If she doesn’t have the time to keep in touch, then neither do I.
If she doesn’t have the time to keep in touch, then neither do I.
How many times have we heard this phrase. I think the first time I heard this phrase was around a decade ago.
I was having a casual chat with a friend of mine and we were discussing the whereabouts of our colleagues from office, who has settled where, something like are you in touch with Mr X, Ms Y and so on.
My friend, lets call him Mr H replied, if X doesn’t want to keep in touch with me why should I. Doesn’t this attitude smack of ego ?
All he had to say is that if he doesn’t care about me, neither do I. Friendship rahe na rahe.
I tried reasoning that if X also gives the same argument that H doesn’t want to keep in touch with me, then why should I ? Then what will happen in that case ?
Will this attitude help us to maintain contacts with our friends, colleagues ?
What happens when both the people at their end hold on to this thought? Isnt it much easier to get in touch with your friend and give him/her the
2nd chance / benefit of doubt that he/she might have got caught up with the rigours of daily life?
Is it good that for their entire lives both the people hold on to this view only to realise a little later that, if only I had made that effort to get in touch a little earlier, who knows we could have had a decent friendship all this time?
I think I have managed to change his views..I am sure he will give me the benefit of doubt in future if I don’t respond to his emails..I have given him a lot of 2nd chances :)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Waqt ke saath insaan badal jate hai –
Waqt ke saath insaan badal jate hai – (copied from my friend’s poetry :))
I am sure most of us have heard and also experienced that people change with time.
We hear people saying, when we were young, she was such a good friend of mine, now as she has
grown up she has become worldly wise and has changed. My spouse was so different before wedding, now she has changed after marriage. I also have the view that people do change as time goes by.
But at times my experience has been otherwise also. And I have ended up saying that people never change, they are the same.
Once a fool always a fool, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Once a humorist always one and once a friend always a friend.
They may change superficially but the basic character remains the same. The harsh realities of the world may superficially change a person, but his/her basic DNA remains the same.
Infact many a times history repeats itself. We end up at the same place from where we had started. And extrapolating the fact that people remain same, we can as well say that across generations people remain same.
As they say like father like son..Nothing can be more true than this.
As the song in love aaj kal, ek hi kahani, badle zamana, badle log, kahani remains the same
I am sure most of us have heard and also experienced that people change with time.
We hear people saying, when we were young, she was such a good friend of mine, now as she has
grown up she has become worldly wise and has changed. My spouse was so different before wedding, now she has changed after marriage. I also have the view that people do change as time goes by.
But at times my experience has been otherwise also. And I have ended up saying that people never change, they are the same.
Once a fool always a fool, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Once a humorist always one and once a friend always a friend.
They may change superficially but the basic character remains the same. The harsh realities of the world may superficially change a person, but his/her basic DNA remains the same.
Infact many a times history repeats itself. We end up at the same place from where we had started. And extrapolating the fact that people remain same, we can as well say that across generations people remain same.
As they say like father like son..Nothing can be more true than this.
As the song in love aaj kal, ek hi kahani, badle zamana, badle log, kahani remains the same
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Do Men Understand Women
Would like to share a small incident someone narrated on tv
Someone was asked, do you think you can understand women, to which the guy gave an example from his childhood,
When he was a kid, he was very naughty, always troubling his mom, there would be times when his mom would run after him with a shoe in one hand, shouting at him.
And the next minute she would be pampering him, asking him if he needed anything to eat/chocolates etc.
Back to the present, he says, can one ever understand such a character ?
Someone was asked, do you think you can understand women, to which the guy gave an example from his childhood,
When he was a kid, he was very naughty, always troubling his mom, there would be times when his mom would run after him with a shoe in one hand, shouting at him.
And the next minute she would be pampering him, asking him if he needed anything to eat/chocolates etc.
Back to the present, he says, can one ever understand such a character ?
Monday, August 10, 2009
How are you
Its such a simple and common question that people ask each other..
The first question anyone asks when one meets a friend/acquaintance/colleague is,
Hey, how are you doing. And the standard reply one gets is,
Doing good, how are you.
But we all know, that the answer, doing good, generally cant be any further from the truth. Many a times, the person answering the question is facing problems in his life/maybe a bad boss, a bad relation, a bad spouse or maybe a bad hair day. But the answer one hears, is I am doing good. And many a times, the one who asks the question also asks it more of as an ice breaker and doesnt really care if the other person is doing good or bad. On the contrary, if the person says I am doing good, one wonders, what the heck, my life is sucks, hw can yours be good ?
I wonder, why is it that people ask the question, how are you doing when no one, the one who asks and the one who answers is really interested?
The first question anyone asks when one meets a friend/acquaintance/colleague is,
Hey, how are you doing. And the standard reply one gets is,
Doing good, how are you.
But we all know, that the answer, doing good, generally cant be any further from the truth. Many a times, the person answering the question is facing problems in his life/maybe a bad boss, a bad relation, a bad spouse or maybe a bad hair day. But the answer one hears, is I am doing good. And many a times, the one who asks the question also asks it more of as an ice breaker and doesnt really care if the other person is doing good or bad. On the contrary, if the person says I am doing good, one wonders, what the heck, my life is sucks, hw can yours be good ?
I wonder, why is it that people ask the question, how are you doing when no one, the one who asks and the one who answers is really interested?
Random Musings
For every new friend I make, I remember you ;
In every joy I share with my new friends, I remember you ;
In my every moment of anxiety I remember you ;
In every joke I crack, I remember you ;
Whenever someone calls me an idiot and at the same time makes me lauf I remember you ;
-Some random thoughts on what friends are !!
In every joy I share with my new friends, I remember you ;
In my every moment of anxiety I remember you ;
In every joke I crack, I remember you ;
Whenever someone calls me an idiot and at the same time makes me lauf I remember you ;
-Some random thoughts on what friends are !!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Jaroorat padne par gadhe..
I had heard this saying long while back,
jaroorat padhne par gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai.. (sorry not sure if there is an english equivalent of this saying). But what it means is that, when situation demands, you have to even appease a fool.
Is this a right approach or is this something which a situation demands and you have to do it?
A couple of situations, there is a working couple, living in the city of Mumbai, wherein most of one's time/day is spend in commuting and working in office. In such a case imagine if the precious maid is someone who is not regular. The wifey dear is someone who is an upright person and doesnt like to endure anyone taking her for a ride and she wouldnt like to have a maid who is irregular, takes holidays without informing her, lies blatantly and when she wants to cut her salary for disproportionate leave the maid argues/fights. End of the day, the hubby says to wifey, like it or not, you need the maid, so be nice to her. So what should the wifey do, take things with a pinch of salt and condone the holidays the maid takes and the unprofessional behaviour of the maid ? Well I guess she has to do that, coz thats the only practical choice she has. She hates the maid from her core, but has to yet appease her !!
jaroorat padhne par gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai.. (sorry not sure if there is an english equivalent of this saying). But what it means is that, when situation demands, you have to even appease a fool.
Is this a right approach or is this something which a situation demands and you have to do it?
A couple of situations, there is a working couple, living in the city of Mumbai, wherein most of one's time/day is spend in commuting and working in office. In such a case imagine if the precious maid is someone who is not regular. The wifey dear is someone who is an upright person and doesnt like to endure anyone taking her for a ride and she wouldnt like to have a maid who is irregular, takes holidays without informing her, lies blatantly and when she wants to cut her salary for disproportionate leave the maid argues/fights. End of the day, the hubby says to wifey, like it or not, you need the maid, so be nice to her. So what should the wifey do, take things with a pinch of salt and condone the holidays the maid takes and the unprofessional behaviour of the maid ? Well I guess she has to do that, coz thats the only practical choice she has. She hates the maid from her core, but has to yet appease her !!
Similarly, you have lot of such cases, a bad boss in your office, but you have to put up with him coz a known devil is better than an unknown angel, afterall its your boss who gives you your yearly hike, your boss who sanctions your leave and if required gives you a reference.
So, do we say that we have to be practical and put up with/praise people we dont like ? Or another angle would be, that focus on your end result and ignore the intermediaries ?Say, your objective is to get your home work done, so you better discount or ignore the unprofessional maid ? Your objective at the end of the day is to earn some salary, so ignore the shoddy boss ?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Enjoy the Journey and not the destination
Many a times I have read that one should enjoy the journey more than the destination. That the journey is what matters, more than the destination. I couldnt frankly understand it completely or at times couldnt agree with it as well.
I mean the journey can be beautiful, but if I dont reach my destination then what is the purpose/benefit of a nice journey, after all I need to achieve my objective ?
But a couple of times I have noticed, that mid way my destination changes or the initial objective no longer holds any meaning which made me realise well maybe, after all its the journey which matters more than the destination ?.
I mean the journey can be beautiful, but if I dont reach my destination then what is the purpose/benefit of a nice journey, after all I need to achieve my objective ?
But a couple of times I have noticed, that mid way my destination changes or the initial objective no longer holds any meaning which made me realise well maybe, after all its the journey which matters more than the destination ?.
Let me give an example, just a few years ago, I was planning to buy a car, on EMI...and at tht point, that was my single objective, best car at the best possible emi..and only purchasing the car could have made me happy, nothing more nothing less..Finally I managed to get a good deal (atleast it appeared to me at that point in time). I celebrated the day I signed the deal and all was done with.
Cut to two years in future, the same car has become a pain in the neck, I met with a few accidents and spend loads of money to get the car fixed, I am unable to get the car registered in my name and am kind of cursing the day I purchased the car and would be the happiest if I had not purchased the car in the first place !!! That set me wondering a few years back I had given a party when I had purchased the car and now the same thing is making me unhappy !!
Do I really know what is it that I want ? Even if I do know that, many a times circumstances change or maybe my priorities change and what was once coveted becomes something that one starts despising. Hence maybe, there is wisdom in the saying that one should enjoy the journey, who knows or cares where we land ?? !!!
PS: Pl replace the car with something else as applicable in your case, I like me car and wouldnt want to replace it :)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Good, Bad, Ugly
We meet different people from different walks of life, and gradually we tend to judge/classify them as good or bad, helpful, selfish and so on. Many a times, say in office, colleges, schools, we tend to take others opinions as well. Hey X is a very selfish person, someone else ventures, oh no, infact I find her to be a very helpful person, she is so intelligent, street smart and honest.
Ever wondered why the same person is judged so differently by different people ?
As my friend put it very aptly, the good and bad is there in each person, it is simply, which side of the person you appeal to. Or as I say, if you are good, the other person will be good to you, no matter how he/she behaves with others. I am sure all of us would have met people and made friends with some who at the first meeting appear to be either very boring or very selfish or maybe rude, but we later changed our opinion about them, maybe because of our experiences with them?
And not only do different people judge the same person differently, we also change our opinions about the same person !! The same person can be your friend today and enemy no # 1 tomorrow.
There was a movie which had a very interesting scene, couple of questions were asked :
1. Which is the one relation in world which is as good or important as family : Your best friend
2. Who can be your biggest enemy : Your best friend
These two questions stumped me : How can your best friend become your biggest enemy ? We change ?
(I think I havent been able to put across all I wanted to say properly :( ))))
Ever wondered why the same person is judged so differently by different people ?
As my friend put it very aptly, the good and bad is there in each person, it is simply, which side of the person you appeal to. Or as I say, if you are good, the other person will be good to you, no matter how he/she behaves with others. I am sure all of us would have met people and made friends with some who at the first meeting appear to be either very boring or very selfish or maybe rude, but we later changed our opinion about them, maybe because of our experiences with them?
And not only do different people judge the same person differently, we also change our opinions about the same person !! The same person can be your friend today and enemy no # 1 tomorrow.
There was a movie which had a very interesting scene, couple of questions were asked :
1. Which is the one relation in world which is as good or important as family : Your best friend
2. Who can be your biggest enemy : Your best friend
These two questions stumped me : How can your best friend become your biggest enemy ? We change ?
(I think I havent been able to put across all I wanted to say properly :( ))))
No, non pas, nahi, nako
I had read a story somewhere where the child says that the best gift his father gave him was teach him how to say no in 18 different languages.
I have realised how valuable this gift is. At times it may be a cultural issue, but many a times, we are groomed into always agreeing to what other people demand of us. Here the others are not the people from your society/your colleagues, but your immediate circle of family and friends.
Be it your father, mother, siblings, partner, spouse or your best friend.
In the beginning it all starts with small favours to your friend, agreeing to copy the notes for them, ignoring the abusive statements your spouse makes, ignoring the spend thrift nature of your partner, the friend who always keeps borrowing money from you, the friend who always forgets his wallet. You always keep saying Yes, keep agreeing to what others say.
But slowly , this saying Yes catches up with you, for one, you start having expectations that others will also agree to give you favours, agree/give in to your unrealistic demands. But people dont. They say a No.
Many a times, you say yes, just coz the other person is asking you do something. You know that the demand is unrealistic, but you still do it, as you cant say a No. It is killing you from inside, but you still have to say a Yes. If you say No, you will hurt the other person, doesnt matter if saying a Yes hurts you.
And more over, if you say a No, you feel guilty of having hurt someone you like so much, someone who is family. Oh the guilt trap !!!
But experience teaches you that, some unrealistic demands need to be curtailed by saying a No, else it jeopardises the very relationship that one is trying to save. Learn to say No people !!
I have decided to say NO !! :)
I have realised how valuable this gift is. At times it may be a cultural issue, but many a times, we are groomed into always agreeing to what other people demand of us. Here the others are not the people from your society/your colleagues, but your immediate circle of family and friends.
Be it your father, mother, siblings, partner, spouse or your best friend.
In the beginning it all starts with small favours to your friend, agreeing to copy the notes for them, ignoring the abusive statements your spouse makes, ignoring the spend thrift nature of your partner, the friend who always keeps borrowing money from you, the friend who always forgets his wallet. You always keep saying Yes, keep agreeing to what others say.
But slowly , this saying Yes catches up with you, for one, you start having expectations that others will also agree to give you favours, agree/give in to your unrealistic demands. But people dont. They say a No.
Many a times, you say yes, just coz the other person is asking you do something. You know that the demand is unrealistic, but you still do it, as you cant say a No. It is killing you from inside, but you still have to say a Yes. If you say No, you will hurt the other person, doesnt matter if saying a Yes hurts you.
And more over, if you say a No, you feel guilty of having hurt someone you like so much, someone who is family. Oh the guilt trap !!!
But experience teaches you that, some unrealistic demands need to be curtailed by saying a No, else it jeopardises the very relationship that one is trying to save. Learn to say No people !!
I have decided to say NO !! :)
I wish these were peanuts
Long back I had read a story, where a couple, recently married were broke, the guy is holding a handful of peanuts and says I wish these were diamonds.
Gradually times changed and the couple became rich, and after a long while, the guy has a handful of diamonds in his hands and he says I wish these were peanuts. I have frankly never been able to completely understand this short story.
But I have my own twist to this I wish story.. Few years back when I had just started working and the internet was a new technology..I was awed by the speed with which emails could be delivered. It almost felt like one is chatting/talking to your friends.
Those days, all of us were freshers, we had lot to achieve, lot of work to be done, and time to spend with friends was scarce. During those days I would wish for more time.
Now, when we are all settled in our careers (I would love to presume that), we seem to be having all the time in the world, but alas, we dont have that similar zeal to make new friends/keep talking endlessly and I am tempted to say, I wish I had the same zeal/enthu !!
Is it any similar to the i wish these were peanuts story !! :( not sure
Gradually times changed and the couple became rich, and after a long while, the guy has a handful of diamonds in his hands and he says I wish these were peanuts. I have frankly never been able to completely understand this short story.
But I have my own twist to this I wish story.. Few years back when I had just started working and the internet was a new technology..I was awed by the speed with which emails could be delivered. It almost felt like one is chatting/talking to your friends.
Those days, all of us were freshers, we had lot to achieve, lot of work to be done, and time to spend with friends was scarce. During those days I would wish for more time.
Now, when we are all settled in our careers (I would love to presume that), we seem to be having all the time in the world, but alas, we dont have that similar zeal to make new friends/keep talking endlessly and I am tempted to say, I wish I had the same zeal/enthu !!
Is it any similar to the i wish these were peanuts story !! :( not sure
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A nagging wife
Somehow I tend to have a soft spot with a wife who nags !!!
Lot of people complain, my wife is such a nag, she always keeps trying to change me, she is always nagging me, asking me to do this, do that, at times not do this, basically she is always after my life, always saying non sensical stuff, can you imagine who will ask such stupid questions that did yu have food, what did you have for lunch, what did you do for dinner, did yu sleep well, etc , etc.
In a nutshell I hate it when she nags and would love if she keeps quite, I would be the happiest person if she stops nagging and doesnt utter the nonsense day in and day out. aND so on.
But let me tell you, it is this nagging wife which a husband soon starts missing. One day your wife doesnt talk you, doesnt talk non sense the man starts missing her. He sooner or later realises that the nagging wife is actually a caring person, her nagging actually reflects her concern.
The same holds true of any of your peculiar friends, who are either too talkative, too enthusiastic. People will always complain, you are ms talkative, a shopoholic. But it is this same talkative person, the shopoholic one misses when he/she is quite or not suggesting you places to shop for !!
Video removed :( I didnt know my taste has become so bad !!!
Lot of people complain, my wife is such a nag, she always keeps trying to change me, she is always nagging me, asking me to do this, do that, at times not do this, basically she is always after my life, always saying non sensical stuff, can you imagine who will ask such stupid questions that did yu have food, what did you have for lunch, what did you do for dinner, did yu sleep well, etc , etc.
In a nutshell I hate it when she nags and would love if she keeps quite, I would be the happiest person if she stops nagging and doesnt utter the nonsense day in and day out. aND so on.
But let me tell you, it is this nagging wife which a husband soon starts missing. One day your wife doesnt talk you, doesnt talk non sense the man starts missing her. He sooner or later realises that the nagging wife is actually a caring person, her nagging actually reflects her concern.
The same holds true of any of your peculiar friends, who are either too talkative, too enthusiastic. People will always complain, you are ms talkative, a shopoholic. But it is this same talkative person, the shopoholic one misses when he/she is quite or not suggesting you places to shop for !!
Video removed :( I didnt know my taste has become so bad !!!
Yeh hai mumbai meri Jaan
For a long time..I would always say Mumbai has no place for sightseeing.
Whenever friends would drop in or relatives would visit my place, I would say ,what to do , there is no place for sightseeing here. At max you can go to the juhu beach, go for a movie or a disc. Mumbai is not like kerala or for that matter london, where you can go out every weekend for 6 months and still you wont run short of places to visit. But over the last few weeks my views have changed and no the Bandra Worli Sea Link is not the reason.
I do agree it is a marvellous structure and it felt amazing to drive down the link.
I am talking of the rains in Mumbai. Never have I felt so lucky to be in Mumbai. Since childhood it had always been a ritual to get drenched in the first showers of the season. But this ritual kinda got disrupted once I started working, invariably during the first showers or any subsequent rains I would be out of Mumbai or be buz with office meetings, client meetings or chugging along the traffic with a laptop in hand. I dont mind getting wet, but what do I do about my laptop.
This year no excuses, I had no job, no laptop to protect, and what better place to get drenched than our good old queens necklace. Words fail to describe the feeling/enjoyment of soaking in the rains. If only someone had scripted a song a la, dilli ki sardi for mumbai rains..I am only reminded of the song in jabwemet..dancing in the rains. Just Bliss.
I am tempted to say, the best life would be something like springs in London, Rains in mumbai and sardi in dilli
Whenever friends would drop in or relatives would visit my place, I would say ,what to do , there is no place for sightseeing here. At max you can go to the juhu beach, go for a movie or a disc. Mumbai is not like kerala or for that matter london, where you can go out every weekend for 6 months and still you wont run short of places to visit. But over the last few weeks my views have changed and no the Bandra Worli Sea Link is not the reason.
I do agree it is a marvellous structure and it felt amazing to drive down the link.
I am talking of the rains in Mumbai. Never have I felt so lucky to be in Mumbai. Since childhood it had always been a ritual to get drenched in the first showers of the season. But this ritual kinda got disrupted once I started working, invariably during the first showers or any subsequent rains I would be out of Mumbai or be buz with office meetings, client meetings or chugging along the traffic with a laptop in hand. I dont mind getting wet, but what do I do about my laptop.
This year no excuses, I had no job, no laptop to protect, and what better place to get drenched than our good old queens necklace. Words fail to describe the feeling/enjoyment of soaking in the rains. If only someone had scripted a song a la, dilli ki sardi for mumbai rains..I am only reminded of the song in jabwemet..dancing in the rains. Just Bliss.
I am tempted to say, the best life would be something like springs in London, Rains in mumbai and sardi in dilli
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
When you are gone !!!
I have read the one liner many a times, that you realise the value of what you had only when you loose it. But unless one experiences it you never understand its meaning.
I have felt this to be true at times, for eg, during summers I would complain of the excess heat I need to bear while travelling and during rains I complain that the trains are not on time. Whereas, on both the ocassions, I can rather be happy that the trains are on time during summers and during rains enjoy the pleasant work.
I had a very striking / on the face kind of experience recently while giving interviews. Once I finished my interviews i realised that if I get the job, it puts an end to my leisure period, gone would be the days of getting up late, sleeping late, reading books, blogging, fooling around, leading a relaxed life and so on. And frankly at that point I didnt want no jobs !! It struck me that rather than worrying about finding a job, I should enjoy this time..
No wonder they say that only when you loose something you realise its value..Many a times, we are all waiting for the next jump, the next weekend, the next big raise, that we forget what we have..I seriously have at times..not NOW !!!
I have felt this to be true at times, for eg, during summers I would complain of the excess heat I need to bear while travelling and during rains I complain that the trains are not on time. Whereas, on both the ocassions, I can rather be happy that the trains are on time during summers and during rains enjoy the pleasant work.
I had a very striking / on the face kind of experience recently while giving interviews. Once I finished my interviews i realised that if I get the job, it puts an end to my leisure period, gone would be the days of getting up late, sleeping late, reading books, blogging, fooling around, leading a relaxed life and so on. And frankly at that point I didnt want no jobs !! It struck me that rather than worrying about finding a job, I should enjoy this time..
No wonder they say that only when you loose something you realise its value..Many a times, we are all waiting for the next jump, the next weekend, the next big raise, that we forget what we have..I seriously have at times..not NOW !!!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Purani Jeans aur Guitar !!!
As one grows up, you make some friends, lose some friends, fight with some and party with some. For quite a long time, I held a notion that once a friend always a friend. I wouldnt even classify people as being friends, acquaintances, colleagues. Most of them were my friends.
But life's experiences have taught me otherwise. I realise that friendships dont last for ever, there is hardly such a thing called forever. If there is, you should consider yourself lucky. In the last few years, I have had my share of friendships which went awry, people I faught with, people I held grudges against.
But as time passes by, at times you do miss your old friends, old times.
This particular scene from Dil Chahta Hai always stands out in my mind. I would see the scene and wonder, if the people whom I have lost touch with in my life, people who have faught with me, people whom I have faught with, do they ever remember me ? Do they get nostalgic about the old times as I do ? Will I ever be able to meet some of them again ? Will we be friends again ? Or is this scene very filmy ?
Guess what, it is not so filmy, you do patch up with your old friends, you at times let bygones be bygones. I have had just 1-2 such experiences and consider myself to be lucky !!! :)
But I still think its very difficult to patch up after a major showdown and it happens only and only if the intentions are there on both the sides.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sleDFrWsIlE
But life's experiences have taught me otherwise. I realise that friendships dont last for ever, there is hardly such a thing called forever. If there is, you should consider yourself lucky. In the last few years, I have had my share of friendships which went awry, people I faught with, people I held grudges against.
But as time passes by, at times you do miss your old friends, old times.
This particular scene from Dil Chahta Hai always stands out in my mind. I would see the scene and wonder, if the people whom I have lost touch with in my life, people who have faught with me, people whom I have faught with, do they ever remember me ? Do they get nostalgic about the old times as I do ? Will I ever be able to meet some of them again ? Will we be friends again ? Or is this scene very filmy ?
Guess what, it is not so filmy, you do patch up with your old friends, you at times let bygones be bygones. I have had just 1-2 such experiences and consider myself to be lucky !!! :)
But I still think its very difficult to patch up after a major showdown and it happens only and only if the intentions are there on both the sides.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sleDFrWsIlE
Monday, June 29, 2009
Guilty feet got no rhythm
I believe that of all the feelings /emotions one experiences, guilt is a very strong one and at the same time very disturbing.
Knowingly or unknowingly if you make a mistake or hurt someone, somewhere down in your heart you have that strong feeling of guilt. The feeling of guilt eats you up inside and doesnt let you be in peace, and all one cares is to ask for forgiveness. One doesnt care if the other person forgives you or not, but all you care for is to ask for it.
Recently I read in the papers, a man had committed some murder and the guilt within didnt let him sleep, he could get his peace of mind only once he admitted to his crime. The police on their part were surprised to someone so happy in the jail, they had never seen someone so happy and relaxed inside the prison cell, but I guess thats what the feeling of guilt does to you, it keeps eating you inside unless you seek for forgiveness.
However, I have also realised that at times it takes one days, months or even years to realise that one has made a mistake. You feel guilty only when you realise that you have made a mistake until then you are all too happy with yourself/your life.
Knowingly or unknowingly if you make a mistake or hurt someone, somewhere down in your heart you have that strong feeling of guilt. The feeling of guilt eats you up inside and doesnt let you be in peace, and all one cares is to ask for forgiveness. One doesnt care if the other person forgives you or not, but all you care for is to ask for it.
Recently I read in the papers, a man had committed some murder and the guilt within didnt let him sleep, he could get his peace of mind only once he admitted to his crime. The police on their part were surprised to someone so happy in the jail, they had never seen someone so happy and relaxed inside the prison cell, but I guess thats what the feeling of guilt does to you, it keeps eating you inside unless you seek for forgiveness.
However, I have also realised that at times it takes one days, months or even years to realise that one has made a mistake. You feel guilty only when you realise that you have made a mistake until then you are all too happy with yourself/your life.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Accepting Positive Feedback
A very small blog, more of a rejoinder to the cinderella story, many a times it so happens that we take others opinion very seriously and that too selectively.
Say, there is a colleague of mine in the office, and he happens to give me some feedback. The feedback has some -ve pointers and some +ve pointers. He says that you are an honest person, hardworking but at the same time you are selfish and a jealous person.
Chances are that I will ignore his positive comments and only take the negative ones to heart. I will presume that she was bluffing when he mentioned the +ve points, how can she know that I am an honest person so fast, maybe she wants a promotion hence she is praising me, I am sure she doesnt know me that well to point out that I am a hardworking person.
But, yes I surely must be a selfish person, the other day I didnt ask her for lunch, maybe I refused some her requests to help, hence I might be a selfish person.
The point is that the same person giving +ve feedback, we dont accept, but we are easily able to accept the -ve feedback !!
Due to insecurity/lack of confidence ?? I would say forget the -ve and only accept the +ve ones :)
Say, there is a colleague of mine in the office, and he happens to give me some feedback. The feedback has some -ve pointers and some +ve pointers. He says that you are an honest person, hardworking but at the same time you are selfish and a jealous person.
Chances are that I will ignore his positive comments and only take the negative ones to heart. I will presume that she was bluffing when he mentioned the +ve points, how can she know that I am an honest person so fast, maybe she wants a promotion hence she is praising me, I am sure she doesnt know me that well to point out that I am a hardworking person.
But, yes I surely must be a selfish person, the other day I didnt ask her for lunch, maybe I refused some her requests to help, hence I might be a selfish person.
The point is that the same person giving +ve feedback, we dont accept, but we are easily able to accept the -ve feedback !!
Due to insecurity/lack of confidence ?? I would say forget the -ve and only accept the +ve ones :)
Cinderella
I am sure all of us know the story of cinderalla, the fairy tale which we all grew up hearing.
I had read a small anecdote on the story, which mainly delves into the people's attitude of inferiority complex/self doubt.
Many a times, when things suddenly start going better in our lives, we tend to doubt ourselves, wondering what have we done to really deserve what we are getting, if people are really good to us, we start wondering maybe they have some ulterior motive, maybe he/she has a hidden agenda in helping me, etc etc. In short rather than being happy about the turn of events, we start doubting ourselves.
To that effect, the article mentioned that, when the Cinderella's prince charming decided to marry Cinderella, never for once did she have doubts that why does he want to marry me, maybe he has some ulterior motive,
he is such a handsome prince, he can find suitable matches in someone who is of his caste/creed,
what does he find so beautiful in me, i am just an ordinary girl.
Cindereall doesnt have any of those doubts, instead she happily agrees to marry the prince. If you think deep, at times we also doubt our good fortunes, which is not a healthy practice !!
Dont doubt yourself !!!
I had read a small anecdote on the story, which mainly delves into the people's attitude of inferiority complex/self doubt.
Many a times, when things suddenly start going better in our lives, we tend to doubt ourselves, wondering what have we done to really deserve what we are getting, if people are really good to us, we start wondering maybe they have some ulterior motive, maybe he/she has a hidden agenda in helping me, etc etc. In short rather than being happy about the turn of events, we start doubting ourselves.
To that effect, the article mentioned that, when the Cinderella's prince charming decided to marry Cinderella, never for once did she have doubts that why does he want to marry me, maybe he has some ulterior motive,
he is such a handsome prince, he can find suitable matches in someone who is of his caste/creed,
what does he find so beautiful in me, i am just an ordinary girl.
Cindereall doesnt have any of those doubts, instead she happily agrees to marry the prince. If you think deep, at times we also doubt our good fortunes, which is not a healthy practice !!
Dont doubt yourself !!!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Act as per your nature
This is some what a continuity of my earlier post titled Gandhigiri. There is a fable in the same vein that someone shared with me during one of my training sessions.
A sage was meditating near the sea shore, when suddenly something bit him, in pain the sage opened his eyes, saw that there was a small harmless scorpio which had bit him, so he put the scorpio back again in the water and started meditating.
After a while, again something bit the sage, again he opened his eyes, and saw that it was the same scorpio, this time, the sage put the scorpio back in to the deep water so that it wouldnt bit him. But nevertheless he put him back in the waters.
A young fellow who was watching this whole episode was curious to know why the sage put the scorpio back in water the second time, so he asked the sage, twice the scorpio has bit you and disturbed your meditation, why do you still keep saving his life ?
To which the sage ventured, it is in the scorpio's nature to bite people, and similarly it is in my nature to help people. Both of us are behaving as per our inner nature. Just because the scorpio is biting me doesnt mean that I should stop saving his life. We are both behaving according to our nature.
I loved this fable !!!
A sage was meditating near the sea shore, when suddenly something bit him, in pain the sage opened his eyes, saw that there was a small harmless scorpio which had bit him, so he put the scorpio back again in the water and started meditating.
After a while, again something bit the sage, again he opened his eyes, and saw that it was the same scorpio, this time, the sage put the scorpio back in to the deep water so that it wouldnt bit him. But nevertheless he put him back in the waters.
A young fellow who was watching this whole episode was curious to know why the sage put the scorpio back in water the second time, so he asked the sage, twice the scorpio has bit you and disturbed your meditation, why do you still keep saving his life ?
To which the sage ventured, it is in the scorpio's nature to bite people, and similarly it is in my nature to help people. Both of us are behaving as per our inner nature. Just because the scorpio is biting me doesnt mean that I should stop saving his life. We are both behaving according to our nature.
I loved this fable !!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Gandhigiri
Gandhiji said that an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.
And the movie, munnabhai showed a lot of examples which implement this quote and show us that so called gandhigiri works.
The one example from the movie which comes to my mind is the good ol society neighbour who always spits near his neighbour's window, but finally relents/mends his ways due to the so called gandhigiri.
My question is that does gandhigiri work in today's world ? The movie depicted various scenarios at a fast track, but in real life, who knows how long can it take for some people to change, it may be hours, days, weeks, months or some times never ?
In today's jet speed world, does anyone really have the time to wait for someone to change, do they have it in them to keep being good, even if the person goes on making mistakes ?
I am all for gandhigiri, coz I believe, if your effort is genuine, the other person will change or relent, the bad can be conquered by good only. But at times the time it takes for the other person to change makes me wonder that does it work ?
And the movie, munnabhai showed a lot of examples which implement this quote and show us that so called gandhigiri works.
The one example from the movie which comes to my mind is the good ol society neighbour who always spits near his neighbour's window, but finally relents/mends his ways due to the so called gandhigiri.
My question is that does gandhigiri work in today's world ? The movie depicted various scenarios at a fast track, but in real life, who knows how long can it take for some people to change, it may be hours, days, weeks, months or some times never ?
In today's jet speed world, does anyone really have the time to wait for someone to change, do they have it in them to keep being good, even if the person goes on making mistakes ?
I am all for gandhigiri, coz I believe, if your effort is genuine, the other person will change or relent, the bad can be conquered by good only. But at times the time it takes for the other person to change makes me wonder that does it work ?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Just Say It -II
I guess each point has an argument and a counter argument to it.
Few days back, I had mentioned in my blog, just say it, that we should express our feelings, say what is in our minds. But I also have a contrary opinion to that.
Many a times, when you are expressive, vocal about your feelings, people tend to take you for granted, they assume/consider you to be weak and take you for a ride.
Saying everything that you feel is not always right as well.
Sometimes in the interest of everyone, its better to just keep quite and keep things to yourself. As they say actions speak louder than words.
At times words end up being empty promises.
Many a times, people dont believe what you say. So maybe its true, that silence is golden.
And yes, there is a nice advt that is playin in India these days, will add the video later, but it says
"bole bin jo kahe sab kuch, andaz hai zindagi"
Few days back, I had mentioned in my blog, just say it, that we should express our feelings, say what is in our minds. But I also have a contrary opinion to that.
Many a times, when you are expressive, vocal about your feelings, people tend to take you for granted, they assume/consider you to be weak and take you for a ride.
Saying everything that you feel is not always right as well.
Sometimes in the interest of everyone, its better to just keep quite and keep things to yourself. As they say actions speak louder than words.
At times words end up being empty promises.
Many a times, people dont believe what you say. So maybe its true, that silence is golden.
And yes, there is a nice advt that is playin in India these days, will add the video later, but it says
"bole bin jo kahe sab kuch, andaz hai zindagi"
With great power comes great responsibility
As kids we are taught to care for others, respect others and always help others. But as I have grown up over the years, I have at times been hurt by people, hurt by their actions/in actions. I used to wonder, why do others have to behave in such a manner that hurts me, dont they realise that their behaviour is at times rude, at times hurting me ?
Then I happened to read the above phrase, with great power comes great responsibility. And I realised, many a times, I as an individual (may be due to my immaturity) am unable to comprehend the future or the possible outcomes of some of my near term childish behaviour and it is left to others to guide me/reprimand me for my actions, which at times is painful.
I have realised that at times one has to do things which we know may hurt others and at times hurts us also, but as they say, we have to swallow the bitter pill at times just coz in the long run it is good for us.
Diwakar : I need your help to fix this blog :(..I couldnt write more
Then I happened to read the above phrase, with great power comes great responsibility. And I realised, many a times, I as an individual (may be due to my immaturity) am unable to comprehend the future or the possible outcomes of some of my near term childish behaviour and it is left to others to guide me/reprimand me for my actions, which at times is painful.
I have realised that at times one has to do things which we know may hurt others and at times hurts us also, but as they say, we have to swallow the bitter pill at times just coz in the long run it is good for us.
Diwakar : I need your help to fix this blog :(..I couldnt write more
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Great Expectations
As my friend mentioned, that "Somehow the people we love the most, we end up hurting them the most". And as a corollary if I may add, we tend to have the maximum expectations from the people we love.
I have been told and have realised that expectations is at the root of many a human miseries. You do something for someone, and then you start expecting something from the other person. If I sacrificed something for you, so should you and if you dont I get hurt.
I had a personal experience which made me realise that, the more I like someone more are my expectations and more I put myself at the risk of being hurt. 3 of my friends were to go for a movie. Of the 3 of us, 2 of us were good friends, close friends if I may put it and the 3rd person was a casual acquaintance.
On the day we were scheduled to go for the movie, it so happened that both my friends couldnt accompany me for the movie, both of them had some work to do. As a result I was left all by myself to go watch a movie. It was an SRK movie, so I had to go for it, there was no choice. But I was hurt by their last minute refusal. However I was more hurt by my friend's refusal than that of my casual acquaintance. Both had refused to come for the movie at the last minute, both had committed the same action, but I was more hurt by one and less by one. That day at dinner time, my behaviour was the same with my casual acquaintance but there was a cold war that ensued with my friend which took a few days to cool off !
That made me realise that at times, the closer we are to some people, the more we expect and are prone to hurt, similarly, the closer we are to some people, more we burden them with our expectations. Whereas it should be the other way round, we should be forgiving towards the people we love.
Since then I have tried to not burden my close family with my high expectations, but I still have a very long distance to travel.
I have been told and have realised that expectations is at the root of many a human miseries. You do something for someone, and then you start expecting something from the other person. If I sacrificed something for you, so should you and if you dont I get hurt.
I had a personal experience which made me realise that, the more I like someone more are my expectations and more I put myself at the risk of being hurt. 3 of my friends were to go for a movie. Of the 3 of us, 2 of us were good friends, close friends if I may put it and the 3rd person was a casual acquaintance.
On the day we were scheduled to go for the movie, it so happened that both my friends couldnt accompany me for the movie, both of them had some work to do. As a result I was left all by myself to go watch a movie. It was an SRK movie, so I had to go for it, there was no choice. But I was hurt by their last minute refusal. However I was more hurt by my friend's refusal than that of my casual acquaintance. Both had refused to come for the movie at the last minute, both had committed the same action, but I was more hurt by one and less by one. That day at dinner time, my behaviour was the same with my casual acquaintance but there was a cold war that ensued with my friend which took a few days to cool off !
That made me realise that at times, the closer we are to some people, the more we expect and are prone to hurt, similarly, the closer we are to some people, more we burden them with our expectations. Whereas it should be the other way round, we should be forgiving towards the people we love.
Since then I have tried to not burden my close family with my high expectations, but I still have a very long distance to travel.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Letting Go (Guys, what can be a better heading..pl suggest)
A year or so back I had attended a course, it was what you can loosely call based on personality developement (tht is not the right word, but that is what comes to my mind).
It was a 3 day course, and on the last day, we had a small session wherein, there were around 50 of us in a room (hall is a better word), there was loud blaring music. And then we were all instructed to shout, basically they instructed us to take out all the hatred, the past hurt that was buried in our hearts/our minds from the past experiences we had with people. They wanted us to shout/scream/curse/do whatever it takes, but take out all the negative feelings/thoughts that we had carried in our hearts since our birth. The music was so loud that you couldnt really hear your neighbour also. So basically we were all shouting in an uninhibited way.
This session lasted for about 15-30 minutes. And then the music was shut down. Later few of the participants were asked to share their experience of those 30 minutes.
The gist of what people said was that over the years, they have all been hurt by someone or the other, their siblings, sometimes their parents, sometimes their friends. And all this hurt had piled on in their mind and somehow effected the way they behaved with them. But up until now they were never able to voice their hurt/share their pain with someone and over the years it had piled up. It alternatively surprised me and saddened me to see that people generally miss out on some good friend/companion with whom they can share their happiness/sorrow. All these ppl wanted was someone to whom they could pour their sorrows to..But that was not to be.
A year later, I saw this movie Metro, life in a metro, and it had used a similar concept wherein the heroine screams and lets out her anger..the message is clear, dont harbour negative feelings in your heart for long, let them out, vent them out, share with someone, do something !!.
PS: Couldnt think of any better heading..maybe trying to grab user attention !!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUA1SRDUQxY&feature=related
its a very long video, but watch it from 7 minutes onwards.
some elderly advice :)
Here are some titbits of elderly advice different ppl have given me up until now , ie in the last 3 decades or so of my existence :
Always have tremendous contacts and acquaintances, you never know when you might end up meeting someone good, but assume that everyone is bad.
When yu are in pits, the society doesnt come to help you, so my dear dont care or think about the society.
Learn to live alone in this world
Dont worry about money, you work hard, you can earn some more, never be stingy in life, learn to live life kingsize.
Displaying emotions is a sign of weakness, you shouldnt show happiness nor saddness. The purfect example is Mr Federer.. I dont agree to this bit..but anyways
You are never what a few people think about you (for someone who is worried about what others will think about me)
Dont be scared of people, the more you are scared, the more they will scare you
Life is never smooth, it always has ups n downs.
Dont share your problems with people, half of them would be happy that you have problems and the other half wouldnt be bothered.
Keep smiling..which I try to do !!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Judging others
Not sure about others, but many a times I am guilty of judging others. Is that person honest, does he/she lie, does he /she indulge in gossip, is she even worthy of being my friend.
Before calling someone my friend, I would almost always tend to judge that person atleast for a while. What if she is lying to me, what if she gossips about me behind my back, what if she is a crook/what if she is not a good person, and how can I forget, what if she is into drugs/smokes/drinks, has vices, lots of what ifs in short. I was of the type who would generally stay away from people she thought were bad people, someone she couldnt be friends with.
But after having been through various ups and downs in life, having experienced my share of good, some not so good and some very good friendships, I have stopped judging people.
I know that irrespective of the fact that my friends are the ones who have wronged, I would still stand by them, irrespective of them being guilty of cheating/being dishonest, they are still my friends.
I realised that I have stopped judging my friends.. And am sure so have they, guess thats what they call, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Before calling someone my friend, I would almost always tend to judge that person atleast for a while. What if she is lying to me, what if she gossips about me behind my back, what if she is a crook/what if she is not a good person, and how can I forget, what if she is into drugs/smokes/drinks, has vices, lots of what ifs in short. I was of the type who would generally stay away from people she thought were bad people, someone she couldnt be friends with.
But after having been through various ups and downs in life, having experienced my share of good, some not so good and some very good friendships, I have stopped judging people.
I know that irrespective of the fact that my friends are the ones who have wronged, I would still stand by them, irrespective of them being guilty of cheating/being dishonest, they are still my friends.
I realised that I have stopped judging my friends.. And am sure so have they, guess thats what they call, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Just say it
This one is straight out of my favourite muse..yup the movies.
K3G (kabhi khushi kabhi gam), has a scene wherein the father tells the son (Big B to SRK), that son I have always loved you, but its just that I couldnt ever express it. In the movie there is a rift between the father and son all because the father says some harsh words to his son which the son presumes indicate that his father doesnt love him.
That scene/thought was stuck in my mind for a while. And I ended up discussing with my friend.. Maybe in other countries/cultures PDA(public display of affection) is very common. But in India generally the PDA when it comes to parents/kids is reserved for the mothers. Generally its the mothers who are more open and more expressive when it comes to their feelings/emotions. I was asking him his opinion, what do you think, should we or should we not express our feelings ? He gave me one look, as if to say are you out of your mind ..expecting Indian males to express their feelings ?
I too am like Mr Big B, someone who keeps her feelings to herself/not very expressive. But life has taught me that some times we need to express our feelings. The maxim that action speaks louder than words doesnt always hold good. Some times, what is in the mind needs to be told as well. Coz unless you say it, the other person wont know whats in your mind.
K3G (kabhi khushi kabhi gam), has a scene wherein the father tells the son (Big B to SRK), that son I have always loved you, but its just that I couldnt ever express it. In the movie there is a rift between the father and son all because the father says some harsh words to his son which the son presumes indicate that his father doesnt love him.
That scene/thought was stuck in my mind for a while. And I ended up discussing with my friend.. Maybe in other countries/cultures PDA(public display of affection) is very common. But in India generally the PDA when it comes to parents/kids is reserved for the mothers. Generally its the mothers who are more open and more expressive when it comes to their feelings/emotions. I was asking him his opinion, what do you think, should we or should we not express our feelings ? He gave me one look, as if to say are you out of your mind ..expecting Indian males to express their feelings ?
I too am like Mr Big B, someone who keeps her feelings to herself/not very expressive. But life has taught me that some times we need to express our feelings. The maxim that action speaks louder than words doesnt always hold good. Some times, what is in the mind needs to be told as well. Coz unless you say it, the other person wont know whats in your mind.
Monday, June 1, 2009
A rose is a rose is a rose
Shakespeare said whats in a name, a Rose by any other name is still just a Rose and will still smell just as nice. But I think some times a name of the person is just more than a name, it has some meaning.
Here I am not referring to the given name as they say. But the so called nick names which a person has. A nick name tells what kind of a relationship there exists (well most of the times).
Bosses in office are generally given nick names such as khadoos, don, hitler and so on. Never would one hear pleasant names for a boss.
When one is in school/college, one ends up having/giving nick names to their friends. I have heard/come across a lot of such funny names up until now. Have met some friends who have never had a nick name their whole life and on the other side are folks who have one nick name every few weeks.
It set me thinking, what is it with this practice of having nick names, why do some ppl have so many and some dont, why do some ppl always address me by my nick name and some the very formal Madam. !!
The first thing that came to my mind and you are right, it was a hindi movie scene.
A particular hindi movie (pl pardon, I am a big hindi movie fan, and some scenes just impress me beyond a doubt) Cheeni Kum shows the camaraderie between a sixty year old AB (Mr Big B for the uninitiated) and a six year old girl Swini Khare. Big B would call her as sexy in that movie. Me thinks , that one nick name changed the relationship between the two and one could never notice the age difference between the two. That one nick name changed the way one would look at the relationship, one single name transformed their relationship from one being too formal to one which was very informal and a close relationship.
I am unable to find any good video link of any scene from the movie, will upload one as soon as I can.
As always would love to hear your take on it.
Here I am not referring to the given name as they say. But the so called nick names which a person has. A nick name tells what kind of a relationship there exists (well most of the times).
Bosses in office are generally given nick names such as khadoos, don, hitler and so on. Never would one hear pleasant names for a boss.
When one is in school/college, one ends up having/giving nick names to their friends. I have heard/come across a lot of such funny names up until now. Have met some friends who have never had a nick name their whole life and on the other side are folks who have one nick name every few weeks.
It set me thinking, what is it with this practice of having nick names, why do some ppl have so many and some dont, why do some ppl always address me by my nick name and some the very formal Madam. !!
The first thing that came to my mind and you are right, it was a hindi movie scene.
A particular hindi movie (pl pardon, I am a big hindi movie fan, and some scenes just impress me beyond a doubt) Cheeni Kum shows the camaraderie between a sixty year old AB (Mr Big B for the uninitiated) and a six year old girl Swini Khare. Big B would call her as sexy in that movie. Me thinks , that one nick name changed the relationship between the two and one could never notice the age difference between the two. That one nick name changed the way one would look at the relationship, one single name transformed their relationship from one being too formal to one which was very informal and a close relationship.
I am unable to find any good video link of any scene from the movie, will upload one as soon as I can.
As always would love to hear your take on it.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Crash of 2008
This post is about the title of my blog, moneytalkz. As most of you might be aware, come Jan 2008, the stock markets in India crashed. People all around were mentioning that India had decoupled from the rest of the world and will not crash. I somehow started to believe it and kept on smiling at every new high the markets made. And then finally Indian Markets crashed. I had forgotten that what goes up has to come down. The big crash helped me learn a few lessons, which I hope to remember until the next crash if not for ever.
1. Always keep booking your profits, once the stocks reach some target. This is a tricky one, at times I have booked my profits to realise that I should have waited a little while, what with the stocks creating a new high daily. One needs to strike a balance between booking profits and holding your stocks. We need to understand that the returns in the market dont exactlyhold a linear relationship to time like your bank fixed deposits, that the longer you hold them, more will be the returns. Infact the returns that you can realise by just holding your stocks for few more days will wipe out all the losses you made by holding it for few years. Hence timing your sales is equally critical.
2. If something goes up in an irrational manner, is always hitting the upper circuit for no apparent reason, it is better to not enter the stock at that point and if one holds the stock, it is better to sell that stock, rather than wait for the peak. I have made a mistake of at times entering a stock just to ride the bull wave only to be hit by the bears as I didnt get out when the going was good.
3. Avoid buying stocks on hear say, I had taken a couple of stocks just because some of my friends, cousins recommended the stocks to me. I had no inclination of their business, just blindly took them. A wrong decision. Dont take stocks that you are not convinced about.
4. If you are an individual investor, keep a limited number of stocks in your portfolio. The 80-20 rule applies here as well, 80% of your returns will be generated from 20% of your stocks. And more over, tracking a huge number of different scripts say in the region of 40 or above will not be easy, the investor will not be able to efficiently research such huge number of stocks. Many a times I have ended up holding miniscule stakes in various scripts, reason being I am tempted to buy all the stocks that are rising. It is a huge mistake. I end up tracking a plethora of stocks and in return not able to devote appropriate time to researching all my stocks. Keep limited scripts, no matter how tempting it is, let go or pass on a few good buying opportunities.
5. Many a times, one is tempted to hold a small number of shares in some companies as one is not too confident of the company, but neverthless want to participate in the upswing. Another mistake. The holding is so miniscule that the returns are equally miniscule and we end up increasing the number of stocks in our portfolio. Also as Warren Buffett mentions, one should be as careful about investing 100$ as one is while investing 100k. It is money after all.
6. Patience is another virtue, many a times, when we are sitting on the market sidelines and see that the stocks are going up, we get tempted to enter the markets just to be able to ride the bull wave. This is a wrong decision, this temptation leads us to enter the markets at the wrong levels where the upside is limited but the risks are high. Just because the markets are rising or just because one has idle cash doesnt imply that one should invest in the markets. Investments in market should be dictated by the prices of stocks as well. Patience was never rewarded more appropriately rewarded.
1. Always keep booking your profits, once the stocks reach some target. This is a tricky one, at times I have booked my profits to realise that I should have waited a little while, what with the stocks creating a new high daily. One needs to strike a balance between booking profits and holding your stocks. We need to understand that the returns in the market dont exactlyhold a linear relationship to time like your bank fixed deposits, that the longer you hold them, more will be the returns. Infact the returns that you can realise by just holding your stocks for few more days will wipe out all the losses you made by holding it for few years. Hence timing your sales is equally critical.
2. If something goes up in an irrational manner, is always hitting the upper circuit for no apparent reason, it is better to not enter the stock at that point and if one holds the stock, it is better to sell that stock, rather than wait for the peak. I have made a mistake of at times entering a stock just to ride the bull wave only to be hit by the bears as I didnt get out when the going was good.
3. Avoid buying stocks on hear say, I had taken a couple of stocks just because some of my friends, cousins recommended the stocks to me. I had no inclination of their business, just blindly took them. A wrong decision. Dont take stocks that you are not convinced about.
4. If you are an individual investor, keep a limited number of stocks in your portfolio. The 80-20 rule applies here as well, 80% of your returns will be generated from 20% of your stocks. And more over, tracking a huge number of different scripts say in the region of 40 or above will not be easy, the investor will not be able to efficiently research such huge number of stocks. Many a times I have ended up holding miniscule stakes in various scripts, reason being I am tempted to buy all the stocks that are rising. It is a huge mistake. I end up tracking a plethora of stocks and in return not able to devote appropriate time to researching all my stocks. Keep limited scripts, no matter how tempting it is, let go or pass on a few good buying opportunities.
5. Many a times, one is tempted to hold a small number of shares in some companies as one is not too confident of the company, but neverthless want to participate in the upswing. Another mistake. The holding is so miniscule that the returns are equally miniscule and we end up increasing the number of stocks in our portfolio. Also as Warren Buffett mentions, one should be as careful about investing 100$ as one is while investing 100k. It is money after all.
6. Patience is another virtue, many a times, when we are sitting on the market sidelines and see that the stocks are going up, we get tempted to enter the markets just to be able to ride the bull wave. This is a wrong decision, this temptation leads us to enter the markets at the wrong levels where the upside is limited but the risks are high. Just because the markets are rising or just because one has idle cash doesnt imply that one should invest in the markets. Investments in market should be dictated by the prices of stocks as well. Patience was never rewarded more appropriately rewarded.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thanks for being there
They say, everyone comes into your life for a purpose. Some times you meet some people and you never really know why did you meet them in the first place and then well there are some whom you can never really have enough off.
Lets talk of the 2nd ones..I am sure we dont want to talk abt people whom you regret meeting in the first place.
These folks, enter your life unknowingly, and slowly become a part n parcel of your life. Now that I have given enuf of lecture, back to topic.
One can easily recognise the 2nd types, they never give up on you, even when you are out, your chips are out, they will egg you on. Something like what I had put in the nagging rights, they will keep nagging you until you reach your goal, it can be anything, completing your project deliverables on time, finding that elusive job and who knows finding happiness as well.
For these people out of sight is out of mind doesnt hold good, rather it is more of the absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If you are someone who has had a pink slip given, they will not only advice you, but help you review your cv, and if its your lucky day help you find a job as well :).
If you are someone who is a lazy person, they will keep nagging you until you give some certification, if not for anything just to keep them from nagging !!
If you are someone who is a big spend thrift, they will be there to keep your expenses under check so that you dont have to apply for chapter 11 !!!
Above all, they will be positive and hopeful of your success when everyone else is spreading a message of gloom and doom.
What would I not do to have such a friend, unfortunately such people I think are far and few in between.. And rather than being skeptical, trying to analyse, why is x so worried about me, I think we should rather be thankful of having such a well wisher even if he/she is there only for a short while.
PS: I would love to know your experiences as well
Friday, May 15, 2009
Changing relationships- II
An opposite or rather another take on the blog on changing relationships.
Many a times, irrespective of the circumstances surrounding the fall out of the friendship or any relationship, when you meet after a few years/some gap, you meet just as Rahul met Anjali :). Irrespective of any animosity or misunderstanding that may have led to the friendship going kaput or growing distance, some times with some people the connection is always there no matter how many years have passed by. When you meet, you forget old grudges and re connect as if you had never been apart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAAhi9z9OWE
Many a times, irrespective of the circumstances surrounding the fall out of the friendship or any relationship, when you meet after a few years/some gap, you meet just as Rahul met Anjali :). Irrespective of any animosity or misunderstanding that may have led to the friendship going kaput or growing distance, some times with some people the connection is always there no matter how many years have passed by. When you meet, you forget old grudges and re connect as if you had never been apart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAAhi9z9OWE
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Motivation
Motivation, many a times ppl ask what is it that motivates you in life, that makes you get up in the morning. To this each one has his/her own experience, story to share.
Well here is mine, (its not mine truly, someone shared with me)
A man was walking by the beach and he happened to see a guy walking near the shore. The guy appeared to be very happy, he looked relaxed and was singing and dancing about himself. The man wondered what is it in life that makes the guy so happy.
An hour later, the man happened to cross the guy again, but lo!, the guy looked all gloomy, he had stopped dancing and had a very sad expression. The man wondered what had happened in the last one hour that changed this guy's mood ? Tempted to know the answer, he approached him and asked, hey whats up, one minute yu are so happy and the next sad !
The guy said, i changed the CD in my music system !
So its up to us to keep up in good spirits folks, just change the music (your thoughts) you are listening to !!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Yu've become like me
In continuation with my posts on motivation/the need for little madness in life, at times one gets motivated by ones friend/spouse in your life.
Not sure if we can call this as adapting in a relationship or getting motivated. Sometimes the influence of the other person is so strong or the person is so influential that knowingly or unknowingly you become like the other person/it maybe yur friend/your spouse.
I have a friend of mine, who has a very positive attitude towards life, I doubt there is anything that can make her frown /worry, she is ever smiling and has a solution to all the problems. I would wonder how in the hell can one always keep smiling and go on about living as if its the best thing that could have happened to her.
Recently, I mean until a year back, when I was travelling a lot, I started getting the same comments from my colleagues at work, hey there, what is with you and your smile, you are always smiling ?? Got some lottery/promotion ? I had no reason/no answer.
But when I saw this scene in Jab We Met, I realised, I had knowingly/unknowingly become like my friend..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9ptqi8b7d0&feature=related
This is a big scene, but my point of reference is the scene where kareena tells shahid that you have become just like me !!!
Not sure if we can call this as adapting in a relationship or getting motivated. Sometimes the influence of the other person is so strong or the person is so influential that knowingly or unknowingly you become like the other person/it maybe yur friend/your spouse.
I have a friend of mine, who has a very positive attitude towards life, I doubt there is anything that can make her frown /worry, she is ever smiling and has a solution to all the problems. I would wonder how in the hell can one always keep smiling and go on about living as if its the best thing that could have happened to her.
Recently, I mean until a year back, when I was travelling a lot, I started getting the same comments from my colleagues at work, hey there, what is with you and your smile, you are always smiling ?? Got some lottery/promotion ? I had no reason/no answer.
But when I saw this scene in Jab We Met, I realised, I had knowingly/unknowingly become like my friend..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9ptqi8b7d0&feature=related
This is a big scene, but my point of reference is the scene where kareena tells shahid that you have become just like me !!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Why is this happening
Why is an eternal question , many of us keep asking why is that happening to me, why is this happening to me, why did she fight with me, why did my friend have to leave me, why did I loose my job and so on and so forth.
Many a times I am also guilty of using the big WHY, why did it have to happen to me only, what wrong did I do to have this fate be fall up on me. I would bug my friends/my sis, why did I flunk in the exams, why only those questions were asked which I had omitted, why was it only me who got a pink slip, why am I not the cool dude in my class, why am I the 2nd choice for people and not the first one !
But I have realised over a period of time that it is better not to ask why. As I had read in the papers, it is best to not try and understand everything. Many a times we are never able to find a satisfactory answer for the WHY and at times one realises that in the short run we did face pain but as they say everything happens for good.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A little bit of madness did not much harm !!!
As one of the advertisements of fanta or mirinda goes, at times a small dose of madness does one a lot of good !!!
Many a times in life, running about trying to manage the things, managing ones responsibilities , a person forgets that life is worth enjoying, we start acting and behaving as grown ups all the time, always and think that all the fun is only for kids.
We brand a lot of things as being madness, something only kids do, hey, how can I do this, what will the people say, hey i am not a kid any more to act and behave like this, i am too old for chococlates !!!
Many a times, one needs a friend like Kareena who can prod us/make us push our boundaries, help us find beauty in the dullest of things, and at times bring joy back in our life.
I am embedding another link in my blog, this time a scene from jab we met !!! One of my fav scenes..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-qhWdJmDEI
Many a times in life, running about trying to manage the things, managing ones responsibilities , a person forgets that life is worth enjoying, we start acting and behaving as grown ups all the time, always and think that all the fun is only for kids.
We brand a lot of things as being madness, something only kids do, hey, how can I do this, what will the people say, hey i am not a kid any more to act and behave like this, i am too old for chococlates !!!
Many a times, one needs a friend like Kareena who can prod us/make us push our boundaries, help us find beauty in the dullest of things, and at times bring joy back in our life.
I am embedding another link in my blog, this time a scene from jab we met !!! One of my fav scenes..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-qhWdJmDEI
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Changing Relationships
Few years ago, I didnt even know you nor did I know about your existence, we were both strangers to each other.
Destiny willed and I met you, we were not strangers any more. We became acquainted with each other. We kept meeting regularly, after college and as time went by we became very good friends. There were days when the time would just whizz by, but our conversations would not end. As they say, morning would turn to dusk, but your talks wouldn't end.
Then just as suddenly you had entered my life, you left from my life.
Now when I met you at a friend's birthday party after nearly a decade, it seemed that we had all the time in the world but nothing to talk about.
I felt I had met a stranger once again.
Destiny willed and I met you, we were not strangers any more. We became acquainted with each other. We kept meeting regularly, after college and as time went by we became very good friends. There were days when the time would just whizz by, but our conversations would not end. As they say, morning would turn to dusk, but your talks wouldn't end.
Then just as suddenly you had entered my life, you left from my life.
Now when I met you at a friend's birthday party after nearly a decade, it seemed that we had all the time in the world but nothing to talk about.
I felt I had met a stranger once again.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Khayal rakhna
Pardon me for writing the title of my blog in Hindi language. It means to take care.
It is about a particular scene in the movie, taare zameen par, I am embedding the link for the benefit of others..(If you havent seen the movie, it will be a spoiler, unless you are tempted to watch the movie after reading my article :)
The gist of the movie is that the kid, has been a slow learner and as a result has let down his parents expectations. As the movie progresses, the kid becomes a recluse, he has no friends, his parents are not there to care for him, share his life..and all the kid does in the movie is keep crying.
In the climax of the movie, what we see here is a drawing competition, where the kid makes a drawing and so does his teacher. It is his teacher who takes the kid under his wings and does everything possible to ensure that the kid joins the mainstream.
All the TLC, effection and care the teacher had for the kid is depicted in the drawing he makes, when you see, the teacher has drawn a portrait of the kid, but with a small detailing, it shows the kid smiling away to glory. It shows all that the teacher can do/ is doing just to put a smile on the kid. And when the kid sees the picture of himself smiling away gayily, he starts crying.
I wish I had a similar teacher (albeit in my office) my boss who would go to great lengths to put a smile on my face in my office :).. That is wishful thinking !!!
It is a beautiful scene, fit to be a climax.
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#FavoriteVideoView.aspx?uid=5248706451242626112&ad=1212103867
It is about a particular scene in the movie, taare zameen par, I am embedding the link for the benefit of others..(If you havent seen the movie, it will be a spoiler, unless you are tempted to watch the movie after reading my article :)
The gist of the movie is that the kid, has been a slow learner and as a result has let down his parents expectations. As the movie progresses, the kid becomes a recluse, he has no friends, his parents are not there to care for him, share his life..and all the kid does in the movie is keep crying.
In the climax of the movie, what we see here is a drawing competition, where the kid makes a drawing and so does his teacher. It is his teacher who takes the kid under his wings and does everything possible to ensure that the kid joins the mainstream.
All the TLC, effection and care the teacher had for the kid is depicted in the drawing he makes, when you see, the teacher has drawn a portrait of the kid, but with a small detailing, it shows the kid smiling away to glory. It shows all that the teacher can do/ is doing just to put a smile on the kid. And when the kid sees the picture of himself smiling away gayily, he starts crying.
I wish I had a similar teacher (albeit in my office) my boss who would go to great lengths to put a smile on my face in my office :).. That is wishful thinking !!!
It is a beautiful scene, fit to be a climax.
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#FavoriteVideoView.aspx?uid=5248706451242626112&ad=1212103867
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Talkative Person
I am sure each one of us has a notion, that x is a talkative person, y is not , zee is a shy person and so on and so forth.
Up until say a decade/half a decade ago I had the notion or the wrong notion that I am a very shy/quite person, someone who is always hiding in a corner, always quite until a friend of mine pointed out during a conversation that I am a chatter box.
It took me by surprise, who me, a chatter box, well nuh, not possible. In my family its my siblings who occupy the coveted slot..
I happened to discuss this with my colleague, hey do you think I am a talkative person, you know nidhi mentioned that I talk a lot, is that true. He explained to me that Pooja, see one behaves differently with different people, and maybe you are more comfortable talking to Nidhi, and she thinks you are a talkative person !!
(Or maybe Nidhi is a quite person, hence she thinks you are talkative ?? Well I would like to go with explanation number 1# )
Point taken, so guys, lets start asking around, am I talkative person ??
Up until say a decade/half a decade ago I had the notion or the wrong notion that I am a very shy/quite person, someone who is always hiding in a corner, always quite until a friend of mine pointed out during a conversation that I am a chatter box.
It took me by surprise, who me, a chatter box, well nuh, not possible. In my family its my siblings who occupy the coveted slot..
I happened to discuss this with my colleague, hey do you think I am a talkative person, you know nidhi mentioned that I talk a lot, is that true. He explained to me that Pooja, see one behaves differently with different people, and maybe you are more comfortable talking to Nidhi, and she thinks you are a talkative person !!
(Or maybe Nidhi is a quite person, hence she thinks you are talkative ?? Well I would like to go with explanation number 1# )
Point taken, so guys, lets start asking around, am I talkative person ??
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Random Thoughts
Sometimes, some people are so near, yet you feel they are very far..
Sometimes, some people are so far, you just want to pluck them from the pictures !!!
Sometimes, some people are so far, you just want to pluck them from the pictures !!!
Nagging Rights
Recently I read a book, which mentioned something about nagging rights. Let me explain it.
The book explains that one needs to be disciplined in ones lives, have some personal goals/objectives which one shud strive to achieve. It also explains the concept of giving someone the nagging rights. What it means is that it is a good idea to share your gs and os with your close family/friends. And also give them some nagging rights. In case you lag behind in your targets/objectives, your spouse/friends can always nag.remind you about it.
So have you identified who will you be giving the nagging rights to ? Believe me these help a lot. Unknowingly a few of my friends had given themselves the nagging rights. And invariably when we would talk they would be like, did yu update your cv, did you do this, did you do that !!
Many a times their nagging would irritate me and I would do the things just to ensure that they stop nagging. But now I realise how important it is !!
So hurry and give someone the nagging rights !! :)
The book explains that one needs to be disciplined in ones lives, have some personal goals/objectives which one shud strive to achieve. It also explains the concept of giving someone the nagging rights. What it means is that it is a good idea to share your gs and os with your close family/friends. And also give them some nagging rights. In case you lag behind in your targets/objectives, your spouse/friends can always nag.remind you about it.
So have you identified who will you be giving the nagging rights to ? Believe me these help a lot. Unknowingly a few of my friends had given themselves the nagging rights. And invariably when we would talk they would be like, did yu update your cv, did you do this, did you do that !!
Many a times their nagging would irritate me and I would do the things just to ensure that they stop nagging. But now I realise how important it is !!
So hurry and give someone the nagging rights !! :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Breakin up and making up
I am sure lot of us have made new friends in their life span and also at the same time broken a few or maybe more friendships (I am referring to the same sex friendships here)
Up until now, it was very rare, that it would be me who would break a friendship. Until now, I would always think that there is only one person who suffers when the friendship goes kaput and if the other person cared abt the relationship at all, he/she wouldnt have broken it in the first place. However now when I was on the other side, calling off my friendship, I realised that the hurt is probably there on both the sides. It is just that one person takes a stand to break off/cut the relationship, but generally it is both the people who are hurt/upset over the friendship going bust.
However now I have come a full circle, and have made my effort to make up with my friend. And I wonder why did I decide to break all contacts with my friend in first place, I think it was because :
My expectations were not met in the first place and that upset me and I felt it was better to end the friendship.
However, now when a few months have passed by, I just decided to make my effort to mend lose ends and fix up my friendship, and again wonder why, well the reasons are :
1. The immediate reason for my attempt at reconciliation was a liner which said, that when you die, it is better to have friends crying for you, rather than an enemy smiling.
2. I realised it is better to reduce my expectations rather than burden my relationships with unrealistic expectations.
3. There is no point arguing or fighting with your friends, finally it is better to forgive and forget !!!
And I have realised a couple of things,
Many a times people say some thing when they are angry, but they dont always mean it.
If someone is angry, it is best to just let them be, to leave them alone for a while, a lot of arguments can be avoided by doing that.
Will add some more later !!
Up until now, it was very rare, that it would be me who would break a friendship. Until now, I would always think that there is only one person who suffers when the friendship goes kaput and if the other person cared abt the relationship at all, he/she wouldnt have broken it in the first place. However now when I was on the other side, calling off my friendship, I realised that the hurt is probably there on both the sides. It is just that one person takes a stand to break off/cut the relationship, but generally it is both the people who are hurt/upset over the friendship going bust.
However now I have come a full circle, and have made my effort to make up with my friend. And I wonder why did I decide to break all contacts with my friend in first place, I think it was because :
My expectations were not met in the first place and that upset me and I felt it was better to end the friendship.
However, now when a few months have passed by, I just decided to make my effort to mend lose ends and fix up my friendship, and again wonder why, well the reasons are :
1. The immediate reason for my attempt at reconciliation was a liner which said, that when you die, it is better to have friends crying for you, rather than an enemy smiling.
2. I realised it is better to reduce my expectations rather than burden my relationships with unrealistic expectations.
3. There is no point arguing or fighting with your friends, finally it is better to forgive and forget !!!
And I have realised a couple of things,
Many a times people say some thing when they are angry, but they dont always mean it.
If someone is angry, it is best to just let them be, to leave them alone for a while, a lot of arguments can be avoided by doing that.
Will add some more later !!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Jack and Rose Dawson
A few days back I had gone to watch the movie Revolutionary Road, the main reason/motive being to see Rose and Jack Dawson in action after more than a decade. I am sure no one can forget these two characters from the movie titanic, Jack Dawson's death in the movie would have evoked tears from a lot of movie watchers.
However I was in for a surprise/shocker in the movie, they portray a couple in a dysfunctional marriage. There is a modern day couple set in an era gone by, the movie depicts their struggle to keep up with an image of a happy couple. I am not sure I can remember a single scene where the two were happy/satisfied/ in love couple. The movie portrays a decaying picture of a marriage gone wrong, where neither loves the other person and finally ends up with one person dying !!
I would certainly like to remember Jack and Rose and rather forget the trip that I had taken down the revolutionary road !!!
However I was in for a surprise/shocker in the movie, they portray a couple in a dysfunctional marriage. There is a modern day couple set in an era gone by, the movie depicts their struggle to keep up with an image of a happy couple. I am not sure I can remember a single scene where the two were happy/satisfied/ in love couple. The movie portrays a decaying picture of a marriage gone wrong, where neither loves the other person and finally ends up with one person dying !!
I would certainly like to remember Jack and Rose and rather forget the trip that I had taken down the revolutionary road !!!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Smile
I have listened to a couple of songs all praising someone's smile, trying to make someone smile.
For quite some time I could never understand what is this hue n cry over trying to make someone smile. I mean after all its just a smile, whats so special about it that you write poetries, songs and paragraphs praising someone's smiling face.
That was until I myself I realised the beauty of smile. Some people have such a genuine smile that the smile stays on in your memory for a long time.
Lots has been written about the smiley faces, its a crooked line that sets all the wrongs right, it makes all the things correct etc. But that is not what I am referring to, its more to do with the calmness one feels when one sees a child smiling. It is such a pleasant feeling.
When you see your friends smiling, your parents smiling, your spouse/your partner smiling , the feeling is very special, one has to experience it to believe it.
this is the song that comes to my mind on smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBXjR-CPvGs
For quite some time I could never understand what is this hue n cry over trying to make someone smile. I mean after all its just a smile, whats so special about it that you write poetries, songs and paragraphs praising someone's smiling face.
That was until I myself I realised the beauty of smile. Some people have such a genuine smile that the smile stays on in your memory for a long time.
Lots has been written about the smiley faces, its a crooked line that sets all the wrongs right, it makes all the things correct etc. But that is not what I am referring to, its more to do with the calmness one feels when one sees a child smiling. It is such a pleasant feeling.
When you see your friends smiling, your parents smiling, your spouse/your partner smiling , the feeling is very special, one has to experience it to believe it.
this is the song that comes to my mind on smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBXjR-CPvGs
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
12th March 1999
Some days and some times just remain with you forever. One such day which I kinda remember is 12th march, exactly a decade ago. My tcs trg in tvm had come to an end I think on 10th or 11th of March.
5 of us were assigned to Mumbai and we were all going back together by train. The training had just ended a day ago and graduallly everyone had started travelling back to their destinations. Quite a few people had come to drop us at the station, the station ended up looking like a mini tcs campus.
Suddenly when I saw the date, I was reminded of that time in history and started wondering what is it that makes me remember this date distinctly.
I think those times were less stressful, I wasnt worried about my job, my next project, all the stress was concentrated around how will I be spending my weekend, which tourist spot would I be visiting , with whom (I had a choice of joining couple of groups during those days :). The atmosphere in the campus was also friendly.
There other equally good vacations, stints I had, but tcs trg is also one of the memorable ones.
Do I want to go back to those times, I dont think so.. Some memories are better left untouched :)
5 of us were assigned to Mumbai and we were all going back together by train. The training had just ended a day ago and graduallly everyone had started travelling back to their destinations. Quite a few people had come to drop us at the station, the station ended up looking like a mini tcs campus.
Suddenly when I saw the date, I was reminded of that time in history and started wondering what is it that makes me remember this date distinctly.
I think those times were less stressful, I wasnt worried about my job, my next project, all the stress was concentrated around how will I be spending my weekend, which tourist spot would I be visiting , with whom (I had a choice of joining couple of groups during those days :). The atmosphere in the campus was also friendly.
There other equally good vacations, stints I had, but tcs trg is also one of the memorable ones.
Do I want to go back to those times, I dont think so.. Some memories are better left untouched :)
Favourite Season
Off late courtsey my work location, I end up listening to the FM radio to/fro my work place.
Just the other day, they were asking people to list their favourite season and the reason for the same.
I found this to be a very interesting topic. Your favourite season can reveal a few interesting things about your personality.
For me, the fav has to be (of summer, winter and rains..given that one doesnt really experience autumn, fall and spring in mumbai :) rains.
It does get muddy in the rains, and travel becomes difficult but nothing beats the joy of getting drenched in the rains. As kids, it was a de facto routine for us to get wet during the first showers. Sitting by the window, watching the rains beats anything in this world.
Close on heels, is the winters which I love, not the kind you have in Mumbai, Mumbai winters one can hardly say are winters. The best part about winters is the snowfall, something I had always wanted to experience, but which always alluded me until few years ago. I have played to my hearts content in the snows, had long strolls in snow filled lanes.
I was wondering, given a choice would I like to have just one season ?? nah..I would like
lot of rains, followed by some snow and for a change a sprinkle of summers.
And last but not the least, though spring is not in the list, I have spend a few springs outside India and the one I remember distinctly is in London, abundant daffodils everywhere, it gave one a feeling that it was pure heaven on earth.
Now, what does your favourite season tell about your personality,
summers : more of an outdoor person, adventurous
spring : nature loving person
Yet to figure out my personality type !! :) (like winters and rains)//
Just the other day, they were asking people to list their favourite season and the reason for the same.
I found this to be a very interesting topic. Your favourite season can reveal a few interesting things about your personality.
For me, the fav has to be (of summer, winter and rains..given that one doesnt really experience autumn, fall and spring in mumbai :) rains.
It does get muddy in the rains, and travel becomes difficult but nothing beats the joy of getting drenched in the rains. As kids, it was a de facto routine for us to get wet during the first showers. Sitting by the window, watching the rains beats anything in this world.
Close on heels, is the winters which I love, not the kind you have in Mumbai, Mumbai winters one can hardly say are winters. The best part about winters is the snowfall, something I had always wanted to experience, but which always alluded me until few years ago. I have played to my hearts content in the snows, had long strolls in snow filled lanes.
I was wondering, given a choice would I like to have just one season ?? nah..I would like
lot of rains, followed by some snow and for a change a sprinkle of summers.
And last but not the least, though spring is not in the list, I have spend a few springs outside India and the one I remember distinctly is in London, abundant daffodils everywhere, it gave one a feeling that it was pure heaven on earth.
Now, what does your favourite season tell about your personality,
summers : more of an outdoor person, adventurous
spring : nature loving person
Yet to figure out my personality type !! :) (like winters and rains)//
Monday, March 2, 2009
Dostana
Its a long over due post, tht I should have written long bacK..
Its my take on the movie Dostana.
Apparently the movie is primarily based on the gay concept, showing the lead characters who act as thoughthey are gay.
But what I liked in the movie, over and above the fact that it was a good entertainer, good songsand good storyline is the friendship between abhishek, john and priyanka.
Some of the lines I loved, or a line I liked is when Priyanka mentions a couple of timesthat abhishek/john are always booked for her and they belong only to her. I think I too am lucky to have some friends like this.
Again the whole song, jaane kyon takes me back to my numerous trips away from home, when I was staying with myfriends, we would come home after office/college and then go for a coffee/dinner. This song just broughtback loads of memories, it would be so nice to go back in time and relive those hostel like experiences.
Again when all the 3 friends are talking abt how their lives have turned out to be, John (rather melodramatically)mentions that he is just happy with his life coz he could met Abhi and Priyanka. I may not go to that extent in reality, but the scene does portray how strong a friendship they share. It was a nice scene where 3 friendsdiscuss what they had dreamt and how their lives had turned out to be. At this age, I also do tend to do the samewith some of my friends, we reminisce, what we had thought of and how life has turned out to be.
A good dostana if I may say
Its my take on the movie Dostana.
Apparently the movie is primarily based on the gay concept, showing the lead characters who act as thoughthey are gay.
But what I liked in the movie, over and above the fact that it was a good entertainer, good songsand good storyline is the friendship between abhishek, john and priyanka.
Some of the lines I loved, or a line I liked is when Priyanka mentions a couple of timesthat abhishek/john are always booked for her and they belong only to her. I think I too am lucky to have some friends like this.
Again the whole song, jaane kyon takes me back to my numerous trips away from home, when I was staying with myfriends, we would come home after office/college and then go for a coffee/dinner. This song just broughtback loads of memories, it would be so nice to go back in time and relive those hostel like experiences.
Again when all the 3 friends are talking abt how their lives have turned out to be, John (rather melodramatically)mentions that he is just happy with his life coz he could met Abhi and Priyanka. I may not go to that extent in reality, but the scene does portray how strong a friendship they share. It was a nice scene where 3 friendsdiscuss what they had dreamt and how their lives had turned out to be. At this age, I also do tend to do the samewith some of my friends, we reminisce, what we had thought of and how life has turned out to be.
A good dostana if I may say
Monday, February 23, 2009
Dream a Dream
This one is on AR Rehman's oscar feat.
Recently I had read an article which went as below :
Apparently it was AR Rehman's dream to win an oscar. Infact 3 years back, he happened to be at the Oscars, and he got few pictures of his clicked with the Oscars statuette (this at the time when he had not even got nominated for the oscars). Few would have doubted Rehman's capability to win one eventually. But what this small act of Rehman showed is that it is good to dream, good to have a child like exuberance/enthusiasm and sometimes even genius people behave like kids.
There are people who laugh at others dreams, criticize them and doubt them, but all I would say is that one should in all earnest go all out to achieve them, and at times behaving like kids is not bad :)
PS: Who would have imagined that his dreams would come true so quickly.
Recently I had read an article which went as below :
Apparently it was AR Rehman's dream to win an oscar. Infact 3 years back, he happened to be at the Oscars, and he got few pictures of his clicked with the Oscars statuette (this at the time when he had not even got nominated for the oscars). Few would have doubted Rehman's capability to win one eventually. But what this small act of Rehman showed is that it is good to dream, good to have a child like exuberance/enthusiasm and sometimes even genius people behave like kids.
There are people who laugh at others dreams, criticize them and doubt them, but all I would say is that one should in all earnest go all out to achieve them, and at times behaving like kids is not bad :)
PS: Who would have imagined that his dreams would come true so quickly.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Time Spend in a Relationship
I recently came across someone's orkut profile and it mentioned that one shouldnt judge a relationship by the amount of time spend in a relationship.
For a long while I believed otherwise, that friendships depend on the extent of time I have known someone for.
For eg, I couldnt trust someone if I had known him/her only for a while, i would be like, i barely know her , how can I trust her. Time was a big parameter for me. But life's experiences has shown me to believe otherwise.
Many a times I have met few people, maybe for a shortwhile, but the connection I make is a lot more deeper than what I can ever have with people whom I spend a lot of my waking hours. Quite a few of my close friends are those with whom my personal /interaction in the real world have been not for more than few months, but they are my closest of friends.
Recently, a friend of mine, handed me some money to invest on his behalf, it was no doubt a small amount, but no questions asked, he just wanted me to invest on his behalf in my name. I was amazed, and infact even asked him, that how can yu trust me, we may never meet again, he simply said, he trusted me, this is his investment and if at all I dont return the money, it will be an experience for him.
All said n done, for some aspects, the time spent is a criteria, coz only when yu go through the highs/lows in a friendship do you know its depth. Some relationships wither away if you are out of touch for a while, however some stand the test of time, and are evergreen inspite of having fights/arguments/days/years of not being in touch.
For a long while I believed otherwise, that friendships depend on the extent of time I have known someone for.
For eg, I couldnt trust someone if I had known him/her only for a while, i would be like, i barely know her , how can I trust her. Time was a big parameter for me. But life's experiences has shown me to believe otherwise.
Many a times I have met few people, maybe for a shortwhile, but the connection I make is a lot more deeper than what I can ever have with people whom I spend a lot of my waking hours. Quite a few of my close friends are those with whom my personal /interaction in the real world have been not for more than few months, but they are my closest of friends.
Recently, a friend of mine, handed me some money to invest on his behalf, it was no doubt a small amount, but no questions asked, he just wanted me to invest on his behalf in my name. I was amazed, and infact even asked him, that how can yu trust me, we may never meet again, he simply said, he trusted me, this is his investment and if at all I dont return the money, it will be an experience for him.
All said n done, for some aspects, the time spent is a criteria, coz only when yu go through the highs/lows in a friendship do you know its depth. Some relationships wither away if you are out of touch for a while, however some stand the test of time, and are evergreen inspite of having fights/arguments/days/years of not being in touch.
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