Another one in continuation with my earlier post on expectations.
Jai and Aditi as different as different can be. Rahul would wonder, what is with this girl, whenever we meet, she has a big list of complaints/items ready, I want this, I want that, etc etc. He would wonder, why does she expect so many things from me, she is always complaining, you forgot to wish me on my birthday, you have come so late today, you have to give me a treat for your promotion, you didnt call me yesterday, you didnt ask me this, that and so on. He would think, her expectations never end, her demands never end. He would often tell her that had forgotten that he was humane and not a complaint box, here comes Jai, let me start cribbing, let me start telling him all my complaints.
Whereas, Aditi would wonder, what is with Jai, he never complains no matter what I do, even if I am late, he never asks me to spend more time, he never asks me to do anything. He always says do what you are comfortable doing. He just never complaints at all. He almost behaves as if we are strangers!! (Now that was an extreme statement to make).
Here we have two people reacting in a completely opposite way to the same situation, all that comes to my mind is,
Unhe humse shikayat hai ki hume unse shikayat hai
hume unse shikayat hai ki unhe humse koi shikayat hi nahi :)
Subhan allah !!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Friends back then n now
Back then,
Friends were someone whom I spoke to daily
Friends were someone who emailed me daily
Friends were someone are there to share my happiness
Friends were someone who were always honest with me
Friends were someone who always wished me on my birthdays
Friends were someone who always understood me
Friends were someone who were to be judged
Friends were someone who had to be good people
But now,
Friends are someone who I may not talk to daily
Friends are someone who are there to share my pain
Friends are someone who are sometimes dishonest
Friends are someone who always forget my birthdays
Friends are someone I have to bully to wish me on my birthdays
Friends are someone whom I always understand
Friends are someone who are not to be judged
Friends are someone who are my friends inspite of their faults
Friends are someone who just like me are imperfect
Friends were someone whom I spoke to daily
Friends were someone who emailed me daily
Friends were someone are there to share my happiness
Friends were someone who were always honest with me
Friends were someone who always wished me on my birthdays
Friends were someone who always understood me
Friends were someone who were to be judged
Friends were someone who had to be good people
But now,
Friends are someone who I may not talk to daily
Friends are someone who are there to share my pain
Friends are someone who are sometimes dishonest
Friends are someone who always forget my birthdays
Friends are someone I have to bully to wish me on my birthdays
Friends are someone whom I always understand
Friends are someone who are not to be judged
Friends are someone who are my friends inspite of their faults
Friends are someone who just like me are imperfect
Saturday, November 7, 2009
If only silence could speak
If we imagine the scene where Rakhi meets Amitabh in Kabhi Kabhi for the first time say after 15-20 years. I can explain the situation in detail, but just to avoid writing the cliched bit.
For the uninitiated, she saw him at the airport, at first she thought it must be someone else, but then there was no mistaking, it was him, talking away on the phone, in a rush to catch his flight. Then he saw her, waved to her and started walking over to her side.
She wanted to say, hi, it is so good to see you after so long
How has life treated you in the last two decades?
How is your wife, how are your kids?
You are looking just like you did 2 decades back when we were in college
No change at all, but I see that you have put on a bit of weight
And that beard of yours, since when did you start having one?
Where are you working these days? Must be holding directorships in various companies.
Did you manage to buy your dream house in Kashmir, how about the yearly holiday trips to Venice.
I am doing well too, I have 2 kids, and both are studying in the US.
I have been working with xxx and have become the MD of the company
Not even in my wildest dreams had I expected to meet you like this.
At times she had tried to visualise having a chance encounter with him, maybe at some cinema, some gathering and half expected him to just walk past her, not even recognising her.
She had never expected him to call on her in such a casual manner and talk to her.
It is so good to see you. I thought I would never meet you again. If only,
So many questions, but all she could say was how are you doing? Plain and simple words. If only silence could speak.
For the uninitiated, she saw him at the airport, at first she thought it must be someone else, but then there was no mistaking, it was him, talking away on the phone, in a rush to catch his flight. Then he saw her, waved to her and started walking over to her side.
She wanted to say, hi, it is so good to see you after so long
How has life treated you in the last two decades?
How is your wife, how are your kids?
You are looking just like you did 2 decades back when we were in college
No change at all, but I see that you have put on a bit of weight
And that beard of yours, since when did you start having one?
Where are you working these days? Must be holding directorships in various companies.
Did you manage to buy your dream house in Kashmir, how about the yearly holiday trips to Venice.
I am doing well too, I have 2 kids, and both are studying in the US.
I have been working with xxx and have become the MD of the company
Not even in my wildest dreams had I expected to meet you like this.
At times she had tried to visualise having a chance encounter with him, maybe at some cinema, some gathering and half expected him to just walk past her, not even recognising her.
She had never expected him to call on her in such a casual manner and talk to her.
It is so good to see you. I thought I would never meet you again. If only,
So many questions, but all she could say was how are you doing? Plain and simple words. If only silence could speak.
Monday, November 2, 2009
To err is humane
They were the best of friends since childhood. Next door neighbours at home, completed their schooling and college from the same place. Where ever they would go, people would appreciate their friendship. Their friendship was something of a misfit in the materialistic world where in one lives currently.
They both completed their college and started actively looking for jobs. ABC Consultants was their dream company and they both were looking forward to their interview @ ABC. There were two vacancies and given their credentials they were confident of getting the placements for themselves.
Their interviews had all gone well and they were awaiting the good news. But to their dismay only one of them managed to secure a place, the other seat was given to someone else. She had received the placement, whereas her friend had not received the placement. She was the one less qualified and in comparison to her friend less suited for the job. But she was happy for herself.
Mildly dejected, her friend started preparing for other interviews. It was then that her friend realised that it was She who had deceived her, She who had played tricks, used her relationships to manipulate the recruiters at ABC to recruit her and not her friend. Her friend was very sad on coming to know about it, she was shattered and at a loss to understand how and what had happened. More than losing the job, she was sad about the fact that her friend had
deceived her. There were lot of questions in her mind, why had she done this, just for a job, she had put their whole friendship at stake? Why had she deceived her in such a manner, what did she get by deceiving her. But she realised that there was no point in asking these questions, what had been done had been done. There was no looking back.
On the other hand, She wasn’t enjoying being at ABC Consultants, she had always looked to working @ ABC with her friend in tow, before a month passed she resigned from her job. Guilt and remorse were eating her inside. She knew what she had done was wrong she had cheated her friend, something she shouldn’t have done. And now she wanted to ask for forgiveness. But she wasn’t sure if her friend would forgive her. She didn’t have the strength to face her friend after what she had done. But somehow she gathered courage and decided to pay a visit to her friend. She was sure her friend would scream and vent at her for being a cheat, she would be having innumerous questions, why, why, why. But she was ready to answer them all. She wanted forgiveness.
She was filled with nervousness, anxiety wondering what her friend will do. As against this, her friend met her with a warm welcome she was waiting for her with open arms. She had no questions to ask, no answers to be seeked, all she was looking for was her friend who had finally come back.
(PS: This realisation is a copy of a movie climax, but it made me realise, we always say that to err is humane, to forgive divine.
As divine it is to forgive, I think it is equally difficult to ask for forgiveness. And at times asking/giving forgiveness becomes a mere formality. Sometimes there
is no need for any questions, any answers)
They both completed their college and started actively looking for jobs. ABC Consultants was their dream company and they both were looking forward to their interview @ ABC. There were two vacancies and given their credentials they were confident of getting the placements for themselves.
Their interviews had all gone well and they were awaiting the good news. But to their dismay only one of them managed to secure a place, the other seat was given to someone else. She had received the placement, whereas her friend had not received the placement. She was the one less qualified and in comparison to her friend less suited for the job. But she was happy for herself.
Mildly dejected, her friend started preparing for other interviews. It was then that her friend realised that it was She who had deceived her, She who had played tricks, used her relationships to manipulate the recruiters at ABC to recruit her and not her friend. Her friend was very sad on coming to know about it, she was shattered and at a loss to understand how and what had happened. More than losing the job, she was sad about the fact that her friend had
deceived her. There were lot of questions in her mind, why had she done this, just for a job, she had put their whole friendship at stake? Why had she deceived her in such a manner, what did she get by deceiving her. But she realised that there was no point in asking these questions, what had been done had been done. There was no looking back.
On the other hand, She wasn’t enjoying being at ABC Consultants, she had always looked to working @ ABC with her friend in tow, before a month passed she resigned from her job. Guilt and remorse were eating her inside. She knew what she had done was wrong she had cheated her friend, something she shouldn’t have done. And now she wanted to ask for forgiveness. But she wasn’t sure if her friend would forgive her. She didn’t have the strength to face her friend after what she had done. But somehow she gathered courage and decided to pay a visit to her friend. She was sure her friend would scream and vent at her for being a cheat, she would be having innumerous questions, why, why, why. But she was ready to answer them all. She wanted forgiveness.
She was filled with nervousness, anxiety wondering what her friend will do. As against this, her friend met her with a warm welcome she was waiting for her with open arms. She had no questions to ask, no answers to be seeked, all she was looking for was her friend who had finally come back.
(PS: This realisation is a copy of a movie climax, but it made me realise, we always say that to err is humane, to forgive divine.
As divine it is to forgive, I think it is equally difficult to ask for forgiveness. And at times asking/giving forgiveness becomes a mere formality. Sometimes there
is no need for any questions, any answers)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Yeh Dooriyan
(ok, ok, the title is a copy from the song..but who cares :)
They were the IT people, part of the GEN X.
His job kept him on his toes generally, he was a high flying consultant in a Management Consulting company. During the last few years, he had been travelling extensively, his job took him across different time zones for extended period.
This time he was travelling for 3 months.
When he came back, they met at their usual meeting place.
They greeted each other, hi, hello and hugged each other. But she appeared solemn and very quite compared to the other days.
He ventured, how have you been, its been so long since we last met. Anything special happening in this part of the world ?
When was the last we spoke ? She asked ?
Ah, 3 months back I suppose, he replied guiltly. Can't help it right, my job is such that it takes me all over the world, spanning different time zones. More over, the places I had been to had such a bad network connectivity that I couldn't call you. And there was nothing exciting happening on my part of the world, to convey to you.
And look who is complaining, if I didn't call you, couldnt you call me? You are complaining as if you had missed me everyday and if you really did, what stopped YOU from calling me. Whenever I am not travelling, I do make it a point to talk to you daily, so if I wasn't able to call you so frequently during the last 3 months, shouldn't you understand.
Before coming there she had decided that she will not complain or argue with him. She has always believed that people should themselves realise if they have made a mistake. One cant always thrust your views on someone else. If he didnt think that anything was amiss, she wouldn't point it out to him. But when she met him, she couldnt stop herself and hence the complaint. But on hearing his justifications she decided not to argue further.
A few days passed by and that incident was forgotten in the hustle bustle of the fast life. He happened to visit her at her home few days later. She was taking a bath, so he was just killing time, loafing around in the home.
At that point he spotted some letters lying around, they were all addressed to him. He was wondering how come he had not received them? Who had written these letters to him, and how come they were there at her place ? On looking at them carefully, he realised that she had written him those letters, during the time he was not there. They were all routine letters, didnt have any special NEWS per se to convey, just a simple hi , hello, how are you. Hardly any of them had anything new in them, just the usual humdrum of living a life in a metro were being shared with someone. There was almost one letter written every week.
He should have realised that
You dont keep in touch when you have time
You make time to keep in touch
Nor do you keep in touch to convey the news, for that matter, how many of us have news to convey to our people on a regular basis, we mostly share the routine stuff with each other daily.
They were the IT people, part of the GEN X.
His job kept him on his toes generally, he was a high flying consultant in a Management Consulting company. During the last few years, he had been travelling extensively, his job took him across different time zones for extended period.
This time he was travelling for 3 months.
When he came back, they met at their usual meeting place.
They greeted each other, hi, hello and hugged each other. But she appeared solemn and very quite compared to the other days.
He ventured, how have you been, its been so long since we last met. Anything special happening in this part of the world ?
When was the last we spoke ? She asked ?
Ah, 3 months back I suppose, he replied guiltly. Can't help it right, my job is such that it takes me all over the world, spanning different time zones. More over, the places I had been to had such a bad network connectivity that I couldn't call you. And there was nothing exciting happening on my part of the world, to convey to you.
And look who is complaining, if I didn't call you, couldnt you call me? You are complaining as if you had missed me everyday and if you really did, what stopped YOU from calling me. Whenever I am not travelling, I do make it a point to talk to you daily, so if I wasn't able to call you so frequently during the last 3 months, shouldn't you understand.
Before coming there she had decided that she will not complain or argue with him. She has always believed that people should themselves realise if they have made a mistake. One cant always thrust your views on someone else. If he didnt think that anything was amiss, she wouldn't point it out to him. But when she met him, she couldnt stop herself and hence the complaint. But on hearing his justifications she decided not to argue further.
A few days passed by and that incident was forgotten in the hustle bustle of the fast life. He happened to visit her at her home few days later. She was taking a bath, so he was just killing time, loafing around in the home.
At that point he spotted some letters lying around, they were all addressed to him. He was wondering how come he had not received them? Who had written these letters to him, and how come they were there at her place ? On looking at them carefully, he realised that she had written him those letters, during the time he was not there. They were all routine letters, didnt have any special NEWS per se to convey, just a simple hi , hello, how are you. Hardly any of them had anything new in them, just the usual humdrum of living a life in a metro were being shared with someone. There was almost one letter written every week.
He should have realised that
You dont keep in touch when you have time
You make time to keep in touch
Nor do you keep in touch to convey the news, for that matter, how many of us have news to convey to our people on a regular basis, we mostly share the routine stuff with each other daily.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
If she doesn’t have the time to keep in touch, then neither do I.
If she doesn’t have the time to keep in touch, then neither do I.
How many times have we heard this phrase. I think the first time I heard this phrase was around a decade ago.
I was having a casual chat with a friend of mine and we were discussing the whereabouts of our colleagues from office, who has settled where, something like are you in touch with Mr X, Ms Y and so on.
My friend, lets call him Mr H replied, if X doesn’t want to keep in touch with me why should I. Doesn’t this attitude smack of ego ?
All he had to say is that if he doesn’t care about me, neither do I. Friendship rahe na rahe.
I tried reasoning that if X also gives the same argument that H doesn’t want to keep in touch with me, then why should I ? Then what will happen in that case ?
Will this attitude help us to maintain contacts with our friends, colleagues ?
What happens when both the people at their end hold on to this thought? Isnt it much easier to get in touch with your friend and give him/her the
2nd chance / benefit of doubt that he/she might have got caught up with the rigours of daily life?
Is it good that for their entire lives both the people hold on to this view only to realise a little later that, if only I had made that effort to get in touch a little earlier, who knows we could have had a decent friendship all this time?
I think I have managed to change his views..I am sure he will give me the benefit of doubt in future if I don’t respond to his emails..I have given him a lot of 2nd chances :)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Waqt ke saath insaan badal jate hai –
Waqt ke saath insaan badal jate hai – (copied from my friend’s poetry :))
I am sure most of us have heard and also experienced that people change with time.
We hear people saying, when we were young, she was such a good friend of mine, now as she has
grown up she has become worldly wise and has changed. My spouse was so different before wedding, now she has changed after marriage. I also have the view that people do change as time goes by.
But at times my experience has been otherwise also. And I have ended up saying that people never change, they are the same.
Once a fool always a fool, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Once a humorist always one and once a friend always a friend.
They may change superficially but the basic character remains the same. The harsh realities of the world may superficially change a person, but his/her basic DNA remains the same.
Infact many a times history repeats itself. We end up at the same place from where we had started. And extrapolating the fact that people remain same, we can as well say that across generations people remain same.
As they say like father like son..Nothing can be more true than this.
As the song in love aaj kal, ek hi kahani, badle zamana, badle log, kahani remains the same
I am sure most of us have heard and also experienced that people change with time.
We hear people saying, when we were young, she was such a good friend of mine, now as she has
grown up she has become worldly wise and has changed. My spouse was so different before wedding, now she has changed after marriage. I also have the view that people do change as time goes by.
But at times my experience has been otherwise also. And I have ended up saying that people never change, they are the same.
Once a fool always a fool, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Once a humorist always one and once a friend always a friend.
They may change superficially but the basic character remains the same. The harsh realities of the world may superficially change a person, but his/her basic DNA remains the same.
Infact many a times history repeats itself. We end up at the same place from where we had started. And extrapolating the fact that people remain same, we can as well say that across generations people remain same.
As they say like father like son..Nothing can be more true than this.
As the song in love aaj kal, ek hi kahani, badle zamana, badle log, kahani remains the same
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