Jaroorat padne par gadhe..

I had heard this saying long while back,


jaroorat padhne par gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai.. (sorry not sure if there is an english equivalent of this saying). But what it means is that, when situation demands, you have to even appease a fool.


Is this a right approach or is this something which a situation demands and you have to do it?

A couple of situations, there is a working couple, living in the city of Mumbai, wherein most of one's time/day is spend in commuting and working in office. In such a case imagine if the precious maid is someone who is not regular. The wifey dear is someone who is an upright person and doesnt like to endure anyone taking her for a ride and she wouldnt like to have a maid who is irregular, takes holidays without informing her, lies blatantly and when she wants to cut her salary for disproportionate leave the maid argues/fights. End of the day, the hubby says to wifey, like it or not, you need the maid, so be nice to her. So what should the wifey do, take things with a pinch of salt and condone the holidays the maid takes and the unprofessional behaviour of the maid ? Well I guess she has to do that, coz thats the only practical choice she has. She hates the maid from her core, but has to yet appease her !!

Similarly, you have lot of such cases, a bad boss in your office, but you have to put up with him coz a known devil is better than an unknown angel, afterall its your boss who gives you your yearly hike, your boss who sanctions your leave and if required gives you a reference.

So, do we say that we have to be practical and put up with/praise people we dont like ? Or another angle would be, that focus on your end result and ignore the intermediaries ?Say, your objective is to get your home work done, so you better discount or ignore the unprofessional maid ? Your objective at the end of the day is to earn some salary, so ignore the shoddy boss ?

Enjoy the Journey and not the destination

Many a times I have read that one should enjoy the journey more than the destination. That the journey is what matters, more than the destination. I couldnt frankly understand it completely or at times couldnt agree with it as well.

I mean the journey can be beautiful, but if I dont reach my destination then what is the purpose/benefit of a nice journey, after all I need to achieve my objective ?

But a couple of times I have noticed, that mid way my destination changes or the initial objective no longer holds any meaning which made me realise well maybe, after all its the journey which matters more than the destination ?.

Let me give an example, just a few years ago, I was planning to buy a car, on EMI...and at tht point, that was my single objective, best car at the best possible emi..and only purchasing the car could have made me happy, nothing more nothing less..Finally I managed to get a good deal (atleast it appeared to me at that point in time). I celebrated the day I signed the deal and all was done with.

Cut to two years in future, the same car has become a pain in the neck, I met with a few accidents and spend loads of money to get the car fixed, I am unable to get the car registered in my name and am kind of cursing the day I purchased the car and would be the happiest if I had not purchased the car in the first place !!! That set me wondering a few years back I had given a party when I had purchased the car and now the same thing is making me unhappy !!

Do I really know what is it that I want ? Even if I do know that, many a times circumstances change or maybe my priorities change and what was once coveted becomes something that one starts despising. Hence maybe, there is wisdom in the saying that one should enjoy the journey, who knows or cares where we land ?? !!!

PS: Pl replace the car with something else as applicable in your case, I like me car and wouldnt want to replace it :)

Good, Bad, Ugly

We meet different people from different walks of life, and gradually we tend to judge/classify them as good or bad, helpful, selfish and so on. Many a times, say in office, colleges, schools, we tend to take others opinions as well. Hey X is a very selfish person, someone else ventures, oh no, infact I find her to be a very helpful person, she is so intelligent, street smart and honest.

Ever wondered why the same person is judged so differently by different people ?
As my friend put it very aptly, the good and bad is there in each person, it is simply, which side of the person you appeal to. Or as I say, if you are good, the other person will be good to you, no matter how he/she behaves with others. I am sure all of us would have met people and made friends with some who at the first meeting appear to be either very boring or very selfish or maybe rude, but we later changed our opinion about them, maybe because of our experiences with them?

And not only do different people judge the same person differently, we also change our opinions about the same person !! The same person can be your friend today and enemy no # 1 tomorrow.

There was a movie which had a very interesting scene, couple of questions were asked :
1. Which is the one relation in world which is as good or important as family : Your best friend
2. Who can be your biggest enemy : Your best friend

These two questions stumped me : How can your best friend become your biggest enemy ? We change ?

(I think I havent been able to put across all I wanted to say properly :( ))))

No, non pas, nahi, nako

I had read a story somewhere where the child says that the best gift his father gave him was teach him how to say no in 18 different languages.

I have realised how valuable this gift is. At times it may be a cultural issue, but many a times, we are groomed into always agreeing to what other people demand of us. Here the others are not the people from your society/your colleagues, but your immediate circle of family and friends.
Be it your father, mother, siblings, partner, spouse or your best friend.

In the beginning it all starts with small favours to your friend, agreeing to copy the notes for them, ignoring the abusive statements your spouse makes, ignoring the spend thrift nature of your partner, the friend who always keeps borrowing money from you, the friend who always forgets his wallet. You always keep saying Yes, keep agreeing to what others say.

But slowly , this saying Yes catches up with you, for one, you start having expectations that others will also agree to give you favours, agree/give in to your unrealistic demands. But people dont. They say a No.

Many a times, you say yes, just coz the other person is asking you do something. You know that the demand is unrealistic, but you still do it, as you cant say a No. It is killing you from inside, but you still have to say a Yes. If you say No, you will hurt the other person, doesnt matter if saying a Yes hurts you.
And more over, if you say a No, you feel guilty of having hurt someone you like so much, someone who is family. Oh the guilt trap !!!

But experience teaches you that, some unrealistic demands need to be curtailed by saying a No, else it jeopardises the very relationship that one is trying to save. Learn to say No people !!

I have decided to say NO !! :)

I wish these were peanuts

Long back I had read a story, where a couple, recently married were broke, the guy is holding a handful of peanuts and says I wish these were diamonds.

Gradually times changed and the couple became rich, and after a long while, the guy has a handful of diamonds in his hands and he says I wish these were peanuts. I have frankly never been able to completely understand this short story.

But I have my own twist to this I wish story.. Few years back when I had just started working and the internet was a new technology..I was awed by the speed with which emails could be delivered. It almost felt like one is chatting/talking to your friends.
Those days, all of us were freshers, we had lot to achieve, lot of work to be done, and time to spend with friends was scarce. During those days I would wish for more time.

Now, when we are all settled in our careers (I would love to presume that), we seem to be having all the time in the world, but alas, we dont have that similar zeal to make new friends/keep talking endlessly and I am tempted to say, I wish I had the same zeal/enthu !!

Is it any similar to the i wish these were peanuts story !! :( not sure

A nagging wife

Somehow I tend to have a soft spot with a wife who nags !!!

Lot of people complain, my wife is such a nag, she always keeps trying to change me, she is always nagging me, asking me to do this, do that, at times not do this, basically she is always after my life, always saying non sensical stuff, can you imagine who will ask such stupid questions that did yu have food, what did you have for lunch, what did you do for dinner, did yu sleep well, etc , etc.
In a nutshell I hate it when she nags and would love if she keeps quite, I would be the happiest person if she stops nagging and doesnt utter the nonsense day in and day out. aND so on.

But let me tell you, it is this nagging wife which a husband soon starts missing. One day your wife doesnt talk you, doesnt talk non sense the man starts missing her. He sooner or later realises that the nagging wife is actually a caring person, her nagging actually reflects her concern.

The same holds true of any of your peculiar friends, who are either too talkative, too enthusiastic. People will always complain, you are ms talkative, a shopoholic. But it is this same talkative person, the shopoholic one misses when he/she is quite or not suggesting you places to shop for !!

Video removed :( I didnt know my taste has become so bad !!!

Yeh hai mumbai meri Jaan

For a long time..I would always say Mumbai has no place for sightseeing.

Whenever friends would drop in or relatives would visit my place, I would say ,what to do , there is no place for sightseeing here. At max you can go to the juhu beach, go for a movie or a disc. Mumbai is not like kerala or for that matter london, where you can go out every weekend for 6 months and still you wont run short of places to visit. But over the last few weeks my views have changed and no the Bandra Worli Sea Link is not the reason.

I do agree it is a marvellous structure and it felt amazing to drive down the link.

I am talking of the rains in Mumbai. Never have I felt so lucky to be in Mumbai. Since childhood it had always been a ritual to get drenched in the first showers of the season. But this ritual kinda got disrupted once I started working, invariably during the first showers or any subsequent rains I would be out of Mumbai or be buz with office meetings, client meetings or chugging along the traffic with a laptop in hand. I dont mind getting wet, but what do I do about my laptop.

This year no excuses, I had no job, no laptop to protect, and what better place to get drenched than our good old queens necklace. Words fail to describe the feeling/enjoyment of soaking in the rains. If only someone had scripted a song a la, dilli ki sardi for mumbai rains..I am only reminded of the song in jabwemet..dancing in the rains. Just Bliss.

I am tempted to say, the best life would be something like springs in London, Rains in mumbai and sardi in dilli

When you are gone !!!

I have read the one liner many a times, that you realise the value of what you had only when you loose it. But unless one experiences it you never understand its meaning.

I have felt this to be true at times, for eg, during summers I would complain of the excess heat I need to bear while travelling and during rains I complain that the trains are not on time. Whereas, on both the ocassions, I can rather be happy that the trains are on time during summers and during rains enjoy the pleasant work.

I had a very striking / on the face kind of experience recently while giving interviews. Once I finished my interviews i realised that if I get the job, it puts an end to my leisure period, gone would be the days of getting up late, sleeping late, reading books, blogging, fooling around, leading a relaxed life and so on. And frankly at that point I didnt want no jobs !! It struck me that rather than worrying about finding a job, I should enjoy this time..

No wonder they say that only when you loose something you realise its value..Many a times, we are all waiting for the next jump, the next weekend, the next big raise, that we forget what we have..I seriously have at times..not NOW !!!

Purani Jeans aur Guitar !!!

As one grows up, you make some friends, lose some friends, fight with some and party with some. For quite a long time, I held a notion that once a friend always a friend. I wouldnt even classify people as being friends, acquaintances, colleagues. Most of them were my friends.


But life's experiences have taught me otherwise. I realise that friendships dont last for ever, there is hardly such a thing called forever. If there is, you should consider yourself lucky. In the last few years, I have had my share of friendships which went awry, people I faught with, people I held grudges against.

But as time passes by, at times you do miss your old friends, old times.
This particular scene from Dil Chahta Hai always stands out in my mind. I would see the scene and wonder, if the people whom I have lost touch with in my life, people who have faught with me, people whom I have faught with, do they ever remember me ? Do they get nostalgic about the old times as I do ? Will I ever be able to meet some of them again ? Will we be friends again ? Or is this scene very filmy ?

Guess what, it is not so filmy, you do patch up with your old friends, you at times let bygones be bygones. I have had just 1-2 such experiences and consider myself to be lucky !!! :)
But I still think its very difficult to patch up after a major showdown and it happens only and only if the intentions are there on both the sides.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sleDFrWsIlE